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Hold On for One More Day

I was flipping through CDs at the library the other night, about to give up on finding anything I actually recognized — I am so out of touch with current music, and by current I mean “released in the last 15 years” — when a familiar cover caught my eye. It was the self-titled debut album by Wilson Phillips, an all-girl singing trio consisting of Beach Boy Brian Wilson’s two daughters and their childhood friend, the daughter of John and Michelle Phillips from The Mamas and the Papas. You may remember their monster hit from the summer of 1990, “Hold On.” I remember it very well, because, for a couple months that year, the Wilson Phillips CD played constantly over the PA system of the movie theater where I worked. The theater had only a single-disc player, and the management was too busy (or too indifferent) to bother changing out the CDs once in a while. Which meant all us poor buggers down on the floor got incredibly sick of whatever the current music was, usually in a real big hurry. I remember several of those CDs meeting with rather ignominious ends. A couple of them sailed out across the parking lot like silvery frisbees. One was dashed into pieces with a mallet, reassembled with splicing tape, and hung on the inside of a circuit-breaker panel, to serve as a warning to other sugary middle-of-the-road pop albums that might wear out their welcomes. My personal favorite, though, was the incident in which a CD just happened to find itself on the floor of the projection booth, on which somebody — I’m not saying who — had sprinkled a little of the sand we used to fill the lobby ashcans. (Yes, it was a very different world a couple decades ago, what with socially acceptable smoking and single-disc CD players.) Did you know if you do The Twist on a CD laying in a sprinkling of sand atop a linoleum floor, that CD won’t ever play right again? Sure looked pretty when the light hit it, though… all those concentric circular scratches…

Anyhow, I don’t recall that Wilson Phillips got destroyed, and as endlessly looping lobby music went, it really wasn’t bad. I retained enough good will toward it that when I saw this copy at the library, I got all nostalgic and checked it out. I thought it might be kind of nice to hear it again.
What it was, though, was weird.

You see, aside from “Hold On” and a couple other tracks, I found I didn’t remember any of the music on this album. None of it. At all. Usually with old albums I haven’t heard in years, I only think I don’t remember the music until I actually start playing it, and then it comes back to me and I start unconsciously mouthing the words and anticipating the opening notes of the next track and such. Not with this album, though. And considering that I must’ve heard this silly thing 10 times a day, five days a week, for two months, that strikes me as very strange indeed. As I said, I don’t remember finding this music especially objectionable, but for some reason, my brain chose to self-edit this stuff right out of the permanent files. I wanted to shoot myself after a couple months of listening to Chicago’s Greatest Hits, yet I can still remember every horrific note of that self-pitying twaddle. My spin of Wilson Phillips last night, however, was like listening for the very first time.

In all seriousness, the music on this album isn’t especially memorable. It’s a blend of pleasant vocal harmonies and upbeat yet dated pop instrumentals that fairly scream out the year in which they were recorded. Like the New Agey audio wallpaper you hear in certain bookstores, it’s innocuous and kinda-sorta likable and completely disposable. It’s really no surprise that it hasn’t stayed with me over the past two decades.

However, while I didn’t remember the music itself, it seems to be an excellent trigger for memories of other things from that time. Not specific events, not even much in the way of sensory memories like I wrote about a couple months ago, but more just a general mood of the summer of 1990. The emotional ambiance, if you will.

While listening to Wilson Phillips, I remembered in shocking clarity how I felt for much of that summer. It wasn’t long after my first big love affair had gone down in atomic flames, so I felt hurt and angry, and also inadequate and deeply lonely and — I’m not too proud or prudish to admit it — really horny. I remember feeling like I was on a quest of some kind, for knowledge, for love, for a return to the way things had been the previous summer. I was drowning in uncertainty and vaguely defined yearning. And yet, I recall a sense of increasing lightness, too, like I was becoming aware that the worst of the storm had passed. I was beginning to feel something close to normal again. And I felt like had a place to be, a place where I belonged, a family of sorts… my job at the movie theater. It was just a minimum-wage joe-job, as Mike Myers would say in Wayne’s World, but it suited me in a way nothing since really has. It was the right place for me to be at that time in my life, certainly.

And I do have one sense memory, now that I think about it, a visual thing… the way the late afternoon sunlight streaming through the theater’s front windows would bounce off the tile floor in the lobby and turn the air into a sort of golden haze. That’s kind of a perfect image for a time and place I feel so much nostalgia for, wouldn’t you say?

 

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Wherein I Am Kinda-Sorta Heroic… Maybe

After several days of unseasonably warm and springlike weather, winter came back tonight, riding on the back of an avenging wind that wanted to drive the breath from your lungs and teach you a lesson for having dared to believe that you’d seen the last of him for another year.

The snow was just starting as I stepped off the evening train; I flipped up the collar of my pea coat against the wet, spattering flakes that were coming in almost horizontally from the north. The temperatures had been relatively mild when I’d boarded a half-hour and 25 miles ago, and I gasped at the abrupt change for the worse. Then the sky brightened and shimmered in a truly weird display, lightning in the belly of a snowstorm, and I knew it was going to be one hell of a night.

That was when the old man reached out for my shoulder with a trembling, knobby hand that looked to have been warped by a serious case of arthritis.

“Pardon me, sir, but are you driving somewhere from here?

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A Perfect Valentine

About a week before Valentine’s Day, my darling Girlfriend and I were talking on the phone about how neither of us had a clue about what to get the other in honor of the annual February bacchanalia of hearts, chocolate, and the color pink. I don’t know how truly stressed she was feeling about the lack of ideas, but I was an anxious wreck this year. V-Day has always felt like a trial to me, a minefield seemingly designed to trip up well-meaning but clueless guys who just don’t have the ingenuity to measure up to the nebulous feminine concept that is “romance.” Guys like me, in other words, at least when it comes to socially mandated displays of romance such as, say, a holiday dedicated to the idea. And those mines seem to get closer together with every passing year, too, increasing the chances that one of these Valentine’s Days, inevitably, I will step in the wrong place and lose a leg. Every February 1st, I begin the month thinking, “Good lord, how am I supposed to top that one year when I actually managed to get everything right? And didn’t I just go through all this with Christmas a few weeks ago?” You see, it was drilled into my head eons ago that V-Day is supposed to be a big deal to women, and god be with the man who gets it wrong.

So I was taken completely aback when I heard Anne saying, “Why don’t we just forget Valentine’s this year?”

“What?” I stammered. This was an unexpected development.

“No, I mean it. I enjoy the cute little teddy bears and the flowers and all, but really, what good are they? You display them for a couple days, then they go into a box or get thrown out. It’s all really pretty silly.”

“Ooooookay.” I had all my antennae up at this point, scanning to see if the Bothans had gotten it wrong and the superlaser was, in fact, fully operational.

“I know you love me,” she continued. “You show me all the time.”

And just like that, all the tension evaporated. On the big day itself, while other men were spending half a week’s pay on roses and fancy dinners that require reservations and clean shirts, Anne and I exchanged cards — this holiday is largely an invention of the Hallmark company, after all — and then we went to the mall for corn dogs.

Yep, I love that girl all right…

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They Call Me Mister Vintage!

I have this friend at work, a guy about my age who shares my somewhat, ahem, old-fashioned tastes in entertainment, and we often have a good time discussing stuff no one remembers except us. A couple months ago, we were in the midst of one such conversation when we came to an unexpected epiphany. It seems a startling number of the TV shows we enjoyed as small boys — think early to mid-1970s — shared essentially the same premise. See if this sounds familiar: there’s a guy roaming the countryside, sometimes with a sidekick or two but usually alone. Sometimes he’s on a personal quest, sometimes he’s on the run from something, and oftentimes it’s both. Every week he arrives in some new location, where he finds the residents have a problem — a corrupt sheriff ruling with an iron fist, an evil developer trying to strong-arm people into giving up their land, outlaws who terrorize the villagers every full moon… you get the idea. Our hero has unique skills or insight and is able to help the people out; then, at the end of every episode, he’s compelled to move on before the adversary who is pursuing him can catch up. As a shorthand notation, my friend and I refer to this premise as “the guy wandering around helping people.”

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A Very Brady Episode of Vega$

So, I’ve continued to dip from time to time into Vega$, that late-70s TV show starring Robert Urich as a T-Bird-driving private eye which I briefly discussed last summer. I haven’t made it through the first season yet, and honestly, I’m not sure if I’m going to bother completing it. The show is entertaining in the bubbly, has-been-celebrity-watch fashion of many series from this era (Charlie’s Angels, Fantasy Island, etc.), but it’s ultimately pretty disposable. No, actually it’s downright confounding, because you can see how this show could’ve been so much more. All the pieces were in place for it to be a groundbreaking peek at the grime beneath the glitz of one of America’s greatest fantasy cities, with a compassionate hero who struggles with his own dark side even as he fights to ensure justice for the victims he encounters. In other words, it could’ve been very much like Miami Vice would turn out to be only a few years later. (Remember that Vega$ was created by Michael Mann, the producer of Vice; Mann didn’t create Vice, but he was responsible for the show’s look and tone, and I’m not surprised that his earlier work contains seeds that flowered on the later show). But Vega$ is what it is, sadly, and even if it were to be remade today in a grittier style, I think the horse has already bolted on the thematic territory I’m talking about. It’s been done, and fans of the original Vega$ would no doubt gripe about how everything has to be “dark” these days, just I’ve done myself with remakes of old shows I like. C’est la vie.

Anyhow, one of the more amusing aspects of the show is the frequent guest appearances by old-timey entertainers and Hollywood B-listers trying to keep their careers going just a little longer. And the episode I watched the other night, “The Pageant,” contained not just one, but two of these guest appearances by well-known faces that added up to a real doozy of a laugh. The plot was unusually serious for Vega$, involving a serial rapist preying on contestants in the “Miss Casino” beauty pageant. The first young lady to get attacked is the daughter of a state senator who hires our hero, Dan Tanna, to find and stop the perpetrator without the publicity attracted by regular police activity. The senator was ably played by none other than Robert Reed, better known as Mike Brady on the classic sitcom The Brady Bunch, seen here at the height of his mid-70s perm-and-mustache phase. And the senator’s daughter? None other than… Maureen McCormick, a.k.a. Marsha Brady.

This casting was so startling and funny to me that I can’t help but think it had to be intended as some kind of stunt. I can actually hear the voiceover in my head saying, “Tonight on Vega$: a Brady Bunch father-and-daughter reunion in the City of Sin!” I compared the dates of production and it turns out that only four years had elapsed since the end of The Brady Bunch in March 1974 and the airing of “The Pageant” in November 1978, so audiences of the day would surely have noticed the pairing of two such familiar faces. I wonder if anyone back in ’78 found it unsettling to hear Mr. Brady discussing Marsha’s rape with a two-fisted PI? Did the producers of Vega$ have some kind of perverse goal in casting actors so strongly associated with a squeaky-clean family comedy? Maybe they were trying to make the rape seem extra-tragic by having it happen to one of America’s favorite TV daughters? Or is it actually possible that McCormick and Reed were cast independently, without anyone even considering the Brady Bunch angle? It’s possible I suppose… but it still feels like a stunt to me.

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The Doctor Who Infographic

It seems like I’ve been mentioning Doctor Who quite a bit lately, and even though I always try to include sufficient background information when I’m blathering about something I suspect my readers might not know about, I imagine this show remains pretty esoteric for a lot of you folks. So in the spirit of being a good blog host, I thought this charming image might be helpful (Who fans are welcome to peruse it as well… it’s pretty fun!):

The Definitive Doctor Who Infographic
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Ed. Note: Looks like in order to see it at full size, you’ll have to click the image to jump to the source page, then click it again to enlarge. Sorry for the runaround… I didn’t realize it would be that big a deal when I started this post!

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An Update on My “Holy Grail” Movie List

A couple days ago, I had a random burst of inspiration and decided to google the movie Mother Lode, a nifty adventure flick from 1982 starring Charlton Heston and a very young Kim Basinger. I was curious to see if there were any rumors about it finally coming to DVD, even though I didn’t really expect to find any. Mother Lode is one of those perennial “missing-in-action” titles; as far as I know, it only ever had a single home-video release, on VHS cassette back in the days when nobody could afford those except video-rental stores. I’ve never understood why a well-crafted, solidly entertaining movie like this one could fall into near-total obscurity while so many truly awful B- and Z-grade schlockers get 15 different editions in each new media format that comes along. Granted, not many people have even heard of Mother Lode, but every person I meet who’s seen it thinks very highly of it. There is a following out there, even if it’s not terribly organized or vocal.
Since the Warner Archive came along, I’ve been hoping it might finally surface as a manufacture-on-demand title, so I’ve been checking every few months as the thought occurs to me. And I’ve been disappointed every time, too… until this week. To my tremendous surprise and joy, Mother Lode is scheduled for release at the end of March… and not as an MOD title, either, but as a full-fledged, regular-production (or “pressed”) DVD. I immediately pre-ordered my copy, and, as lame as it sounds, I’ve been walking on air ever since. It’s just a DVD, but it’s also the fulfillment of a very long quest to find something that didn’t seem to be attainable. It’s been a long time since I felt that kind of satisfaction that perhaps only collectors really know.

Anyhow, finding out about Mother Lode got me thinking about my other “holy grail” films, the ones that I want to own on DVD but which have remained stubbornly unavailable. I remembered that I actually blogged about them almost two years ago now, and I thought maybe I ought to revisit that list and see if the status has changed for any of the others…

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Discovery Rolls Out for the Last Time

Barring any mechanical problems that require her to go back to the Vehicle Assembly Building, space shuttle Discovery has made her final journey to Launch Pad 39A. She’s scheduled to launch three weeks from today, February 24, bound for the International Space Station on her last flight before retirement. Here’s a lovely photo taken during her nighttime roll-out earlier this week:
Seeing double? Check out Discovery's reflection during l... on Twitpic
(Click the thumbnail to go to the big version. It’s worth it.)

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In Memoriam: 2010 Super Retrospective Edition

I don’t know why I feel compelled to observe the deaths of celebrities the way I do. I only know that I always have, going all the way back to a couple of brief sentences I scribbled in an old pocket calendar on the day Elvis Presley died in 1977. (I was seven years old at the time.) A former girlfriend once told me she thought I was morbid for having such an interest in the passing of people I didn’t even know. I see it differently, of course. No, I didn’t personally know the people I write tributes for, but that doesn’t mean I feel no attachment to them, no grief at the thought that they’re gone, or that their lives — or at least their work — has had no direct effect on my own. Given my interests and obsessions, movie and television actors, novelists, screenwriters, artists, composers, and rock stars have often had more effect on me than many of my own relatives.
In any event, a lot of things got away from me in 2010, including a great many topics I wanted to blog about, and my patented celebrity obits comprise a pretty large subset of those lost blogging opportunities. That’s a tremendous source of frustration for me; I feel like I’ve failed at some kind of calling, as pretentious and self-important as that probably sounds. But I feel what I feel, right?
To try and make up a little for my “In Memoriam” failings, I will now present a list of all the celebrities who died in 2010 that I felt worthy of mentioning. They all deserve more than a bullet point, but I’m afraid that’s all I have time to give them. A handful of them did get a little more, up toward the first of the year, before the Summer Work Apocalypse got its claws into me. Those people’s names are hyperlinked to the relevant posts.
And to anyone who may agree with that long-gone girl and thinks I’m being morbid, I assure you I really did feel some connection to everyone on this list, even if it was simply a sense of familiarity due to their faces being on TV all the time as I was growing up.

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