Archives

Jun022006

Rich Corinthian Leather

I don’t know what frightens me more: the fact that the Internet has finally revealed its true purpose as the repository of all the pop-cultural detritus of the last 50 years; the fact that I love the first fact so damn much; or the fact that I get all warm and nostalgic over a TV commercial that I must’ve seen 52,432 times during my childhood:

Incidentally, the wikipedia says that “‘Corinthian leather’ was a meaningless term invented for the [ad campaign], but has since come to designate leather with a vinyl surface treatment that requires little care.” Just in case you were wondering. And even if you weren’t, I just had to throw it out there, because Ricardo Montalban rocks…

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Jun022006

Non-Iconic Icons

So, federal anti-terrorism funding to New York City has been cut by 40% because the Department of Homeland Security says there are no icons or national monuments there. John Scalzi, a resident of Ohio mind you, identifies some of the “non-icons” DHS may have missed, including the Chrysler Building, the Empire State Building, and the New York Stock Exchange, not to mention that big green lady out in the harbor.

Is there anyone left out there who really believes the Bush Administration knows what it’s doing? Anyone?

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Jun012006

You Know You’re From Utah If…

Someone e-mailed the following list of Utah-centricities to me this afternoon and I found it sufficiently amusing to repeat here. Unfortunately for my non-Utah-native readers, it’s pretty esoteric, so I’ve done my best to annotate the really obscure stuff. If you do live outside the Protective Dome that shields Zion from the rest of the world and you want to know what the heck a specific item is all about, just ask in the comments or e-mail me…

Continue Reading…

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Jun012006

How It Ought to Be Done

The bad news came down a couple weeks ago, but I was too disheartened — and too distracted by other topics — to comment at the time. It seems that my buddy Cheno’s hunch was correct: the upcoming Star Wars DVDs will present the original theatrical versions of those landmark films in non-anamorphic letterboxed transfers based on 13-year-old masters that were originally prepared for the old analog-laserdisc releases. What that means, for those of you who aren’t home-theater savvy, is that the video quality on the unf***ed-with editions will be better than your old VHS tapes, and it will probably be better than the bootleg DVDs that are floating around the ‘net (which are all copies of the laserdiscs made with home-brew equipment), but it won’t be up to the standards of even an average DVD release. You see, nearly all the DVDs sold these days are “anamorphically enhanced,” which basically means they’ve been processed to look good on high-definition TVs. Without anamorphic enhancement, the theatrical versions will look pretty good but not outstandingly good on a regular TV, and lord only knows what my fancy new HDTV will make of them. Anamorphic enhancement isn’t anything new or special; every major-studio DVD movie release of the last few years has got it. As many disgruntled SW fans have pointed out, the upcoming release of George Lucas’ mid-90s flop Radioland Murders will have it. But not the 1977 movie that literally changed how Hollywood does business.

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May302006

What Are My Copywriters Smoking?

Here’s a good one culled from the day’s proofreading work: in a document discussing the “personal journal” feature of a wireless handheld, a copywriter for my agency spelled “journal” as “jernal.” Incidentally, the copywriters are all supposed to be college-educated, and they’re probably making more money than I am. Oy.

It doesn’t exactly qualify as “Egregious Corporate Speak” but it’s pretty egregious on its own terms…

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May302006

Paul Gleason

Character actor Paul Gleason, who died over the weekend at the age of 67, spent much of his career playing obnoxious, arrogant jerks who are destined for a come-uppance in the final reel. There was, for example, his character in Die Hard, Deputy Police Chief Dwayne T. Robinson, who swaggers onto the scene and promptly makes a bad situation much, much worse. But, as every obituary on the ‘net is noting, Gleason will be remembered for playing one specific jerk, Principal Richard Vernon in the exemplary Brat-Pack flick The Breakfast Club.

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May302006

What Time of Day Am I?

It’s been a while since I took one of those ridiculous online quizzes that seek to grant insight into your character by comparing you to inaminate objects or abstract concepts, and I’m not much into work on this first day after the long weekend, so:


You Are Midnight


You are more than a little eccentric, and you’re apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you’re a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence – you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn’t mean you’re a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.
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May262006

Some Light Reading

I’m looking at a couple of interesting tidbits as I while away the last few minutes of work before the holiday weekend.

The first is news that the Voyager II space probe, launched way back in 1977, seems to be approaching the “edge” of our solar system, which is defined by a phenomenon called the “termination shock.” This is where particles blown outward by our sun start to turn back inward because of a flow of incoming particles from outside the system. The interesting thing is that the termination shock seems to occur sooner in the “southern” region of our system, where Voyager II is, than in the northern region. (Voyager I crossed the northern termination shock about a year ago, but it was farther away when the event occurred than its sister ship is now.)

The other item is further evidence in support of one of my pet theories, which is that the world is becoming more and more like Star Trek all the time: scientists believe we might be able to build an actual cloaking device before too many more years using “metamaterials” that bend electromagnetic energy around them. A more detailed article on this research can be found here. Very cool news. I really wouldn’t mind living in a Star Trek world. As long as we don’t all end up wearing velour or spandex jumpsuits, or suits with feet in them like jammies…

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May262006

Bring Back Britney

I’ve been thinking of how best to present this next find, but words are failing me. Some things simply have to be seen to be believed. And sometimes the words of others just have to stand on their own without further comment:

We at BringBackBritney.com hold firm that a hosed-down, scantily clad Britney Spears is vital to the livelihood of millions of Americans. We will not sit silently as she sullies her persona in the public eye; that of a Kabbalah chasing, non seatbelt wearing, ovary farm for any two-bit backup dancer to take advantage of. This is not the Britney we hold in high regard.

[ADDENDUM: The really interesting thing is that this site seems to be tied in with Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in New York, which, not coincidentally, just debuted a stripper-pole-straddling likeness of Brit — complete with heaving breasts that actually, er, heave. You know, I feel sorry for the girl, I truly do…]

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May262006

Samuel L. Jackson was in The Ten Commandments?

It’s a mellow Friday morning here at my day job as we head into a three-day weekend. Seems like the perfect time for an amusing video, wouldn’t you say?

I’ve noticed kind of a mini-trend on the InterWebs recently, fake movie trailers that are edited and scored to make well-known films seem like something completely different: The Shining reinterpreted as a heartwarming family drama, for instance, or Stand By Me with gentle Gordie recast as some kind of psycho killer. But I think I’ve got one that has those beat: how about The Ten Commandments as a teen high-school comedy?

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