Remakes have been a significant part of Hollywood’s output since at least the 1930s, when many silent movies were filmed again as talkies. But it seems to me that the philosophy behind remakes has changed in recent years. It used to be that you remade less-than-memorable movies in hopes of coming up with something better. The Maltese Falcon is the perfect example; few people today realize that the Bogart classic was actually the third time Dashiell Hammett’s novel had been adapted for the screen. The two earlier versions have been largely forgotten, presumably for good reason.
Today, however, remakes mostly seem to be movies that audiences do remember, and even revere; cult classics seem to be particularly vulnerable. (My theory is that modern remakes are largely exercises in branding; Hollywood is updating familiar movies because audiences are already aware of the titles and basic premises, so there’s less of a challenge for the marketing department.)

Take, for example, the latest exercise in “why is this necessary”-ism: a remake of the John Carpenter-Kurt Russell favorite Escape from New York. Wow, what a brilliant idea, a real natural. After all, the last remake of a Carpenter film, The Fog, did so spectacularly well at the box office, didn’t it? (Yes, kids, that’s sarcasm you’re reading.) While we’re at it, why doesn’t somebody remake Carpenter’s best-known film, his big breakthrough and masterpiece, Halloween? Oh… never mind…

You know, I saw Kurt Russell on The Late, Late Show the other night. He was there to plug Grindhouse, naturally, but the host, Craig Ferguson, was far more interested in discussing the Escape remake. Kurt, classy guy that he is, said he had no issues with it and wished the new production well. I tend to agree with Craig, though; he said (in his amusing Scottish accent) that it was bullshite, that Kurt was Snake Plissken, that Snake was an icon, and that no one else could take over the role. And then for good measure, he repeated himself: it’s bullshite.

I would just add that somebody already did a remake of Escape from New York. It was called Escape from L.A. What’s that, you say? You don’t remember that one? Yeah, well, that pretty much says it all, doesn’t it?