Originally an email quiz, now gone to ground somewhere in the vast, vast Internet:
Apr192007
Archives
Apr192007
Tales of Gold Monkey
Tales of the Gold Monkey, which I mentioned in the previous entry, was another one-season-wonder of a television show that gouged a huge divot in my impressionable young brain. Curiously, it ran in the same 1982-83 television season as Voyagers! (back when network series still had discreet and contiguous seasons instead of only occasionally airing new episodes in between re-runs); there must’ve been something in the air that year that caused TV shows to lodge themselves so firmly in my memory. Hell, I still remember the actual time slots of the shows I loved: Voyagers! was on Sunday nights and Gold Monkey was Wednesdays. Yes, I did spend far too much time thinking about what was on the tube…
Be that as it may, Gold Monkey was a nifty show, a good old-fashioned pulp adventure set in the South Pacific of the 1930s. I think it failed largely because people compared it unfavorably to Raiders of the Lost Ark; both were set in the ’30s and featured an all-American leather-jacketed hero and dastardly Nazis, so of course one had to be a rip-off of the other. But I didn’t care about the similarities when I was a kid, and I’ve since decided that Gold Monkey was actually far more similar to the Bogart-Bacall classic To Have and Have Not than any of the Indiana Jones movies. Even in the ’80s, however, nobody bothered to watch the classics, so the rip-off accusation stuck, and by the start of the ’83-’84 season, Gold Monkey was only a memory. At least until somebody finally gets those DVDs into production!
While we wait for that boxed set of shiny silver discs, here’s the opening title sequence, featuring an appropriately jaunty theme song by uber-composer Mike Post. I miss opening title sequences…
Apr172007
Voyagers! on DVD!
Wow, here’s an announcement I never thought I’d read: the TV series Voyagers! will be released on DVD on July 17th.
What’s that? You say you’ve never heard of Voyagers!? Well, I’m not surprised. It lasted only a single season, but it made a huge impression on me. Aimed squarely at the 10-14 year old market, the show was about a handsome-but-lunkheaded time traveler who accidentally picks up a 10-year-old companion, then finds himself unable to return the kid to his own time. Not that the kid wants to go… you see, he’s a history buff and an orphan, so blazing through the past is far more appealing than growing up in a boring old foster home in 1982. And his knowledge of history comes in useful, because our grown-up Voyager lost his handy guidebook and doesn’t know crap about any of the events they keep finding themselves in the middle of.
It was all pretty silly and self-consciously educational in the way of early-80s kidvid, but I’m pretty sure this is one I’ll still enjoy. I’ve already earmarked my $49.98 for the set. Now, if only somebody would get to work on Tales of the Gold Monkey…
Here are the opening credits for Voyagers!, which should give you a taste of the show if you don’t remember it, or generate a nice nostalgic glow if you do:
Apr172007
Zombies Don’t Giggle!
There were zombies wandering the streets of Salt Lake this past Sunday… and no, I don’t mean the usual handful of homeless guys or would-be shoppers who didn’t get the memo about the downtown malls being demolished. No, I’m talking about genuine, flesh-eating, shambling-corpse, movie-style zombies. Seems there was a film crew here last week shooting a pilot for a new TV series called The Rising, about the undead taking over an unnamed American city.
This really is the perfect location for a zombie project — anyone who lives around here can tell you that Salt Lake is eerily appropriate for the anonymous role of “unnamed American city,” and filming downtown on a Sunday provides that deserted, end-of-the-world look without even having to redirect traffic.
Brandon Griggs of the Salt Lake Tribune lent a helping hand as an extra; he writes about the experience here. There’s also this nifty little behind-the-scenes video:
A quick note of explanation for the out-of-towners: that distinctive “cuckoo” sound you can hear as the zombie crowd begins to move is a audio cue that’s linked to all the “walk/don’t walk” lights in the downtown area. I guess it’s intended to help blind pedestrians. If you’re crossing in the north-south direction, you get the cuckoo; east-west is a “cheep-cheep” noise. As far as I know, this system is unique to Salt Lake. I’ve never heard these sounds in any other city I’ve ever visited.
Also, if you’re curious, that zombie crowd is only about two blocks from my office building…
Apr172007
Jason Bennion: Pulp Hero!
There are a number of topics I wanted to blog about today, big, important topics that would require lengthy entries to fully explore. Today would be a perfect day to write them, too, because it’s been relatively slow at work. So what have I been doing? Playing with this HeroMachine doohickey I ganked from jaquandor, naturally. This is what I would look like if I chucked the writing and proofreading gigs and became some kind of latter-day gentleman-adventurer:
Of course, to really look like that, I’d need to be taller. And in better shape. And still have hair on top of my head instead of only in the back. And not wear glasses. And be able to afford really cool boots. And a good tailor. And… oh, jeez, this is depressing…
Apr162007
Melvin Tries Again
When last we encountered Melvin Dummar, the Utah native who claims to have once given Howard Hughes a ride and that he’s owed a share of the Hughes fortune, his last-ditch lawsuit — which alleged that new-found evidence showed the original 1978 probate trial was tainted by false testimony — had been thrown out by the U.S. District Court in Salt Lake. I figured that would be the last we’d hear of old Mel until the time came for an obit.
Looks like I was wrong. Melvin has now filed a new lawsuit in Nevada, repeating the same claims as last year’s failed Utah suit. As I’ve said before, I’m inclined to believe Melvin’s story, both because it seems plausible based on what I know about Howard, and also because it’s just such a damn good story. Such an American story, really, the tall tale that has the ring of truth, of two self-made (or, in Melvin’s case, self-defeating) men who meet by chance in the wide open Western deserts.
I wish him luck with this new suit, although I remain pessimistic about his chances of actually getting anything…
Apr162007
Question of the Day
I don’t know if this is widely known outside the Zion Curtain, but the Dark Lord himself, Vice President Dick Cheney, has been invited to give this year’s commencement address at Brigham Young University in a few weeks. BYU (or “The Y,” as it’s more commonly known in these parts) is, of course, the most conservative college in Utah, possible even in the country. It’s so conservative that male students aren’t even allowed to wear beards.
(True story: I actually applied to the Y back in my pre-bearded days. I was conditionally accepted pending a letter of recommendation from my spiritual leader. Smart-ass that I am, I was tempted to forge a letter in fractured English and sign it, “Yoda, Jedi-Master of Dagobah,” but ultimately I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble, and anyway I didn’t want to go to a school that would forbid me from dressing like Sonny Crockett. [I was very big into Miami Vice at the time, and had this thing about muscle shirts, not shaving for four days at a stretch, and going sockless, all big no-nos at the Y.])
As conservative as the school is, however, there are protests planned to coincide with Darth Cheney’s visit. But I don’t think it’s necessary to dwell on the fact that even BYU students think the man is nasty and hateful. I think we should instead concentrate on the really important matters:
…the question remains whether Cheney will get an honorary degree. And, if so, what would it be? International diplomacy? Public Relations? Energy Policy? Environmental Science?
Enquiring minds want to know!
Apr162007
‘Tis a Silly Place…
Given the horrifying events at Virginia Tech this morning, the following video (courtesy of Chris Roberson) is either wildly inappropriate at this time or a much-needed break from the gloom. Personally, I just thought it was funny:
Apr132007
More Remakes
As long as I’m feeling grumbly this afternoon anyway, I may as well note that two more genre classics are scheduled to be remade: Barbarella and The Day the Earth Stood Still.
I can actually see some value in redoing Barbarella, which, despite its kooky, 60s-ish charms, is a pretty bad movie. As I was saying the other day, there is a case to be made for trying to improve questionable material. But The Day the Earth Stood Still? A movie that (a) is just about perfect on its own terms, (b) holds up quite well even after 50 years, and (c) stemmed entirely from the nuclear nightmares of the early Cold War times in which it was made? Come on. What’s the point?
Apr132007
Salt Lake’s Light Rail: Number Ten!
Here’s an interesting random factoid: according to this, Salt Lake’s light-rail system — the train I mention so often on this blog — is ranked tenth out of 27 cities in terms of ridership. Not bad, considering a lot of people protested its construction a few years ago on the grounds that “no one would ride it.” (We’re still hearing that argument from folks who don’t want extensions running through their neighborhoods.)
Now, if only I could find some statistics on the number of people who leave chicken bones under train seats and pretend no one saw them…