Cranky Robert just sent me this:
Oh, if only I’d kept up on my Sith lessons. I could totally use that Force-choke thing just about everytime I’m out in public…
Apr272007
Archives
Apr262007
Only in Utah
Here’s a genuine headline from today’s Salt Lake Tribune:
Satan behind illegal immigration, Utah County Republican claims
And the relevant graf:
District 65 Chairman Don Larsen submitted a resolution to be discussed at Saturday’s Utah County Republican Convention that opposes the devil’s plan to destroy the country by stealth invasion of illegal immigrants.
I love living in this state. No, really, I do…
Apr262007
Amazing Home-Brewed CGI Movie
So, a few days ago, I reminisced about how my friend Cheno and our merry little band of youthful movie buffs used to shoot our own movies on a VHS camcorder. Cheno was the writer-director on most of these efforts, while the rest of us pulled multiple duties as on-screen talent, camera operators, stunt performers, grips, prop masters, and caterers. Our finished films — the ones we did finish, that is — were always entertaining, and Cheno came up with a lot of creative solutions to deal with various problems, but I must be honest: they were pretty primitive stuff. They couldn’t be anything otherwise, given the equipment we had available at the time.
That’s why I am continually amazed at the amateur-made stuff I see on the web nowadays. As uncomfortable as I may be with many aspects of the digital revolution that’s swept our society in the past 20 years, I can’t deny that it’s made a lot of things possible for the average person that weren’t even worth dreaming about back in the day. Take, for example, the short animated film C.O.D.E. Guardian, which imagines a World War II battle fought with anime-style giant robots (it’s presented in two parts in the following YouTube clips):
Apr262007
A Literary Peeve
As long as I’m in a complaining mood today anyway, I may as well mention that one of the reasons I’m not a big fan of so-called “literary fiction” is the way authors of this stuff so often play with the standard rules and techniques of fiction writing. Presumably they’re trying for some kind of effect, and also presumably fans of LitFic appreciate and enjoy this; me, I just think it comes across as pretentious and gimmicky.
Case in point: I’m currently reading a novel called This is the Place by Peter Rock, which, in general, I am enjoying. (Rock has created some wonderful evocations of Wendover, Nevada, and the Bonneville Salt Flats, two places I just visited last month.) However, the guy is apparently unaware of the existence of the quotation mark. None of the book’s dialogue uses it. Instead, you’re just supposed to pick up from context that someone is speaking, as in this passage:
How you doing, Jamie? The bartender knew what she wanted before she said a word. He brought two cocktails and she drank the first one fast.
I’m doing, she said. Hard at work here.
It’s not a huge thing, but it’s driving me crazy. It’s sometimes confusing, but the biggest issue is that I just don’t see any reason, artistic or otherwise, for doing it, and it’s coming off as more of a distraction, an affectation, than anything that adds value to the work…
Apr262007
Pet Peeve: The Today Show
This is something that’s bothered me off and on for several years, but this morning I finally reached my breaking point: what the hell is the matter with the audio mix on The Today Show?
Anytime they use background music for a segment — which is pretty much all the time these days on this increasingly fluffy and pointless “news” program — the music is so loud that it drowns out the voiceover. It happened this morning while Matt Lauer was reminiscing about his best experiences while doing his “Where in the World is Matt Lauer?” segments, which I still enjoy despite my general disdain for Today. The insidiously catchy and terminally annoying Outkast tune “Hey Ya” was playing over the story, cranked up to the point where I could hardly hear Matt at all, so what I ended up with essentially a music video with visuals of Lauer on an aircraft carrier, walking around Red Square, etc.
I’ve wondered for some time if the problem was with the TV in my bedroom (I usually half-listen to the various morning shows while I dress for work, so I can catch a weather forecast), but today, because I was actually interested in the story in question, I tried the HDTV in my living room; same thing there. Are the show’s producers even aware of this issue? Is it deliberate on their part? Do they think for some reason that viewers find it pleasant or exciting to have music drowning out the host personalities that we’re supposedly tuning in to listen to? Or are we just supposed to look at them? Why have the hosts at all? Why not just play music? Oh, wait, that’s what the radio is for, isn’t it? Idiots…
Oh, and as long as I’m bitching, I’d love to see all the national morning shows drop their outside “plaza” segments, too; listening to the screaming crowds of people who all seem to think that their Aunt Mildred in Peoria will somehow pick out their single voice from the cacophony is even more annoying than the nine-millionth play of “Hey Ya.” Not that the goofball weather-guessers who mingle with the crowd ever have anything all that important or amusing to say, I just don’t like all the noise. Arg…
Apr252007
Update: FDA Listening to Chocolate Campaign!
The Don’t Mess With Our Chocolate site is reporting that the FDA has extended the comment period through May 25, so we might have a chance after all of stopping the corporate weenies who want to cheapen our chocolate in the name of bigger shareholder profits! Don’t hesitate: click that link above right now and follow the campaign’s instructions on how to submit your thoughts to the FDA.
And if you just tuned in and don’t know what in the hell I’m talking about, read my previous entry on this subject, then click over to Don’t Mess With Our Chocolate. Power — and decent quality chocolate — to the people!
(In spite of the light ‘n’ sassy tone I’m using with these posts, I really do take the subject very seriously, and I hope you’ll join me in fighting this. I despise the thought of stockholders fattening their bottom lines by taking away value for the consumer — a game they’ve learned to play with consummate skill over the past 20 years — and I feel like it’s finally time to draw a line in the sand on something. Chocolate is a good place to start. Maybe if we’re loud enough, we can not only stop the plan to cheapen the quality of this one product, but actually turn back the clock on some other things as well.)
Apr242007
Don’t Mess With My Chocolate!
One of the many, many items on the List of Things That Are Turning Me Into a Grumpy Old Man™ is the fact that an entire generation of kids has grown up not knowing what Coca-Cola is supposed to taste like. That’s because, back around 1985 or so, the evil penny-pinching, bean-counting corporate stooges in Atlanta decided — without bothering to consult the consumers who would be buying and drinking the stuff, mind you — to replace the yummy, yummy sugar in Coke with this new-fangled, better-living-through-modern-chemistry (and, not coincidentally, cheaper) dreck called high-fructose corn syrup. The value of this change was entirely one-sided: the company saved money on the production side by using the cheaper sweetener, which of course boosted the stockholders’ portfolio. Coke drinkers, on the other hand, got shafted. They lost the flavor they’d enjoyed for a hundred years and were forced to either adapt to the new, less-pleasant (and possibly downright harmful, if you believe the bad press on corn syrup) Coke formula, or find some other beverage fix.
(For the record, I don’t generally buy into conspiracy theories, but I find it entirely plausible that the marketing disaster that was New Coke really was an insidious ploy to wean consumers off sugar-based Coke so we’d be more accepting of the corn-syrup formula when Classic Coke “returned.” I’m not saying I definitely believe that, only that I find it believable.)
The really frustrating thing about the Coke situation was that the battle was lost before anyone knew it was being fought. And the same damn thing is about to happen again with another beloved luxury food: chocolate.
Apr242007
The Wisdom of Steven Wright
Cadged from Brian Greenberg, who caught the brilliant, hilarious (and seriously weird) comedian Steven Wright on Letterman last night:
A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn’t first place.
Apr222007
2007 Telos Awards
For the past several years, my friend, collaborator, and frequent Simple Tricks commenter Mike Chenoweth has been working with a local charter school called East Hollywood High. EHHS is a pretty exciting idea, a place where artistically inclined kids can take, in addition to a standard high school curriculum, elective courses in film history and practical film production techniques, taught by people who actually work in the film industry. Mike has been instrumental in shaping this elective program, first as a teacher and, more recently, as Director of Film Studies.
A couple weeks ago, he asked me to do him a favor and judge a number of student-made films for the school’s annual Telos competition. On Friday night, it was my honor to attend the awards ceremony for the nominees and winners.
Apr212007
Music Quiz
Look, kids, it’s another quiz! It’s the lazy blogger’s way of posting up some quick ‘n’ easy content for your reading pleasure!
This one is a little different, at least. It’s about music: