Archives

Aug132007

Pathetic Earthlings…

Well, the Sci Fi Channel’s new Flash Gordon series premiered over the weekend. I didn’t see it myself — I don’t have cable, because I’m too cheap to pay a monthly fee for another hundred channels of The Same Old Crap™ just so I can catch the occasional novelty — but from what I’m finding on the web this morning, I gather it wasn’t good. One fellow is even calling for a “jihad against the Sci Fi Channel” before it can “reimagine” any other older properties. (Someone should’ve thought of that following the crappy Dune miniseries a few years ago — arg! It still burns!)

I’m reserving final judgment on the show until I manage to see it for myself, but based on what I’ve been reading, I think it’s pretty unlikely I’ll approve of it any more than anyone I linked above. I can’t say I’m surprised, given the Sci Fi Channel’s spotty record and poor reputation among its target audience, but I am disappointed. While I tend to oppose remakes in general, I think Flash Gordon is a hero that can (and perhaps should) be revived and reinterpreted for each new generation, just as Batman and Superman have been revisited many times; as the premiere has inched closer, I’ve honestly been looking forward to a 21st Century take on what’s been called “the original space adventure.”

Continue Reading…

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Aug102007

Another Sign We’re Living in the Future

Perhaps the cheesiest episode ever of the old 70s-vintage Buck Rogers TV show — which is saying a lot, considering how that entire series was one long block of yummy, yummy fromage — was “Space Rockers,” wherein evil Jerry Orbach wants to control the minds of the galaxy’s youth via subliminal signals embedded in truly awful music. Actually, it probably wasn’t such a bad idea for a story, at least not back then, when people still believed there were backmasked Satanic messages underlying “Stairway to Heaven.” The way it was executed, however… oy. I thought it was embarrassing even when I was a kid and Buck was don’t-miss-viewing.

Part of what made it so dippy was the appearance of the “rock” band Orbach was secretly using for his nefarious scheme. Leaving aside their cringe-inducing costumes — which consisted of body stockings and rope lights — their “playing” looked really, well, goofy. The series was set in the 25th Century, so everything had to be electronic and futuristic-looking, right? That meant that the “guitar” had no strings and Bonzo played his “drum kit” by tapping plastic rods with a pencil. But the most ridiculous item was the synthesizer/keyboard doohickey: it was just a table with colored circles on it, which was the musician “played” by passing his hands (or, in an over-the-top eruption of Velveeta, his leg) over them. Have a look at the video, if you dare.

Silly, right? Well, maybe not. Via Scalzi comes word of a new electronic musical instrument called the ReacTable, and I’ll be damned if it isn’t highly reminiscent of that old Buck Rogers prop:

Wired.com has an article about this new instrument here.

You know, if something from Buck Rogers had to developed out here in the real world, I think I’d have chosen those spandex jumpsuits that Erin Gray always wore. Maybe there’s still hope for those…

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Aug092007

The Compleat Doctor Who

This is kind of fun for people who are fully comfortable with the depths of their geekiness: it’s a video compilation of the entire 36-year run of the original Doctor Who series (including the 1999 TV movie that aired on Fox) condensed into a little over five minutes.

(Via)

Fascinating to see how the visual tone of the series (not to mention the production values!) changes over the years…

Continue Reading…

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Aug092007

Bowing to a Master

You know, I like to think of myself as a pretty good writer, able to turn a decent phrase and evoke a mood when it suits me. But there are times when I run across something I wish I’d written, something that so perfectly crystallizes an idea, a moment in time, a cultural scene, that I can only doff my hat, hang my head, and think, “Damn, how does he do that?”
Case in point: John Scalzi’s fever dream du jour:

I’ve mentioned before that there’s a musician out there named Mike Scalzi (no relation) who is the leader of a band called Slough Feg, who play unreconstituted pre-hair band-era metal; really, you can taste the bong resin, see the black light Houses of the Holy poster and feel the conversion van plush carpet between your toes when you listen to these dudes.

 

[Listen to the latest Slough Feg album] and be transported to a land that time forgot: where Poison and Cinderella and Winger were all publicly executed for their crimes against humanity, where Vikings do roam the land, hoisting their mighty warhammers to battle the leather clad, GTO-driving survivors of the nuclear apocalypse, and where all the women look just like Julie Strain, and they’re totally hot for you in your Music from “The Elder” t-shirt, and they’ve got a friend who looks like Little Queen-era Ann Wilson that they want to bring over to your garage loft for a special, special time. You know, before you all have to go out and kill some orcs. With your swords. That eat souls.

 

Good times, good times.

Good times indeed… and a good trick of exactly capturing the sticky zeitgeist shared by all early-teenage boys circa 1982 or so, back when our hormone-addled imaginations were fueled by endless reruns of John Carpenter movies on HBO, nascent music videos, Heavy Metal magazine, Robert E. Howard reprints, cheap pin-up posters won at state-fair midway games, and rounds of D&D played in our best friend’s clammy basement bedroom, not to mention the occasional, furtive glimpse of our dad’s Playboy stash and way, way too much sugar delivered by direct Slurpee infusion. God, I do miss those days, sometimes…

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Aug082007

What a Geek Believes

Courtesy of Eric D. Snider, a former Utahn who now snarks at movies for a living in Portland, Oregon, comes a manifesto written by this guy, a radio DJ from the Pacific Northwest. With only a few minor tweaks, it could’ve just as easily been written by myself:

What a geek believes

 

According to Rick Emerson

 

I believe that Han shot first. I believe that Ally Sheedy was hotter before Molly Ringwald cleaned her up. I believe in miniatures, models, claymation, and not revealing the shark until you absolutely have to. I believe that George Lucas, for better or for worse, change[d] the way we see the world, each other, and ourselves. And I believe that we will someday reach those stars that he himself made visible. I believe that George Lucas is also a narrow-minded, money-grubbing, pig-headed slave to the now, who ought to be locked away from his own creations, lest he do them further harm. I believe that Jean-Luc Picard is the better Starship Captain, but I also believe that James Tiberius Kirk is infinitely cooler. I believe that a child standing in line to buy a book at midnight is fantastic; I believe that reading makes you smart — it’s schools that make you dumb. I believe that any episode of Futurama is better than any program featuring a precocious teenager who’s wise beyond their years. I also believe Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be the sole exception that proves this rule. I believe that comic books are an art form, and will someday be recognized as such. I believe that good shows die too young; and crap shows last too long. I believe that Eddie Izzard is the funniest man alive, and I don’t care whether you’ve ever heard of him or not — it’s still true. I believe that a girl who likes movies about zombies is hotter than whoever is on the cover of Maxim this month. I believe that Belloch ate that fly, I swear to God that I heard Luke call Leia “Carrie,” and I believe that Samwise Gamgee never quite got the credit he really deserved. I believe in magic, I believe in dreams, I believe in the power of music, movies, and the untold worlds inside an everyday library card. And I do not believe that geeks will inherit the earth; I believe that we already have.

So, did you catch all the references? If you’re wondering about those tweaks I mentioned, they’re after the fold:

Continue Reading…

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Aug082007

What’s with the Shirts Pulled Over the Heads?

Oh, boy… remember what I said earlier about disgust, embarassment, and lingering regrets? What combination of those emotions do you suppose these guys are feeling now that their 20-year-old homemade music video for a goofy novelty song has hit the InterWebs?

Incidentally, the purveyors of “Pac-Man Fever,” Buckner and Garcia, have a web site. I’m shocked to discover that you can still get their 1982 album of video-game-themed ditties; download it from the usual sources or order the CD here. (I’d recommend you order the tangible artifact, personally; I’ve dealt with CD Baby before, and it’s a great company, an indie record shop in Oregon that’ll send you some of the most deliciously eccentric e-mail you’ve ever read…)

(My thanks to Scalzi for bringing this to the world’s attention.)

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Aug082007

Reminder for the Miners

Just a little PSA for any fellow Bingham High School alumni who may be reading: the Class of ’87 Twenty-Year Reunion is now only one month away. Details here.

I know many people, perhaps even most people, look back on their high school days with a mixture of disgust, embarrassment, unforgotten hurts, and lingering regrets, assuming that they look back at them at all and haven’t long since dealt with it all in therapy and moved on with their lives like normal, well-adjusted grown-ups. I, however, am a sentimentalist and a nostalgic (in case you haven’t noticed), and the twisted, incredible truth is that I enjoyed my time in high school. Oh, I had my fair share of teenage angst and difficulties — trouble with girls and bullies and self-confidence and all the other crap you see in cynical, darkly funny movies written by tragically ironic hipster types who smoke too much — but I also had good friends (most of whom I still see or hear from occasionally) and a cool car, and I emerged from the ’80s with a lot of fond memories.
All of which means that, even though I have yet to formally decide whether or not I’m going to my reunion, the odds are very, very good that I’ll be there on September 8th. How about you?

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Aug072007

Approved by the Imperial Tourism Board

Proving that tourism boosters will find a way to appeal to just about any niche or hobby group, here’s a poster promoting Tunisia, the North African desert country that, as any good fanboy or ‘girl should know, was the real-world stand-in for the planet Tatooine in the Star Wars films (not to mention several key scenes in Raiders of the Lost Ark):

According to this, these posters were being distributed at the Star Wars Celebration Europe convention last week. I’d love to have one for the Archives, and I wouldn’t mind watching a sunset from the Hotel Sidi Driss, either. Guess those boosters know what they’re doing after all…

[Update: Actually, a little bit of googling has turned up some trivia I didn’t know, as shocking as that seems. The “double-sunset scene” in which Luke stands on the rim of the pit he and the Larses called home was actually shot at a place called Chott el Jerid, some distance away from the hotel that served as the interior locations of the Lars homestead.]

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Aug032007

Happy Birthday, Anne

As you may have surmised from the title of this entry, today is The Girlfriend’s birthday. Neither of us are all that keen on birthdays anymore, on account of having had a few too many of them for comfort, but, darling, I hope this will be a good one for you anyhow. I also hope you won’t think your presents suck. You’ll be receiving them in a few hours.
In the meantime, allow me to embarrass you with this classic image from your past:

Anne napping with a stuffed penguin.

When I think of you, baby, this is the image that often come to mind: you engaged in one of your favorite pastimes — napping — with a stuffed penguin…

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Aug022007

Interview with Danica

Okay, last week I was obsessing over Flash Gordon, and now this week I keep going on about The Wonder Years. So I’m a fanboy, sue me. Well, no, on second thought, don’t do that. I’ll be nice…

If you’re interested, Wired has just posted an interview with Danica McKellar about her new book and “why being a math whiz and a girly girl are not mutually exclusive.” It’s a pretty interesting read, and it even includes a link to McKellar’s published proof, Percolation and Gibbs states multiplicity for ferromagnetic Ashkin–Teller models on Z2.

No, I don’t know what that means. And neither do you, so stop trying to show off…

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