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Saturday Mornings Back in the Day

Saturday Morning Live Action Televison by Dusty Abell

Via Chris Roberson, here’s an awesome piece of art by a guy named Dusty Abell that probably won’t mean a damn thing to any of the younger folks out there in InternetLand, but ought to bring a smile to the faces of all us aging thirtysomethings.
In case you’ve forgotten (or never knew them), these are the heroes and villains of all those great live-action TV adventures that used to alternate with cartoons on Saturday mornings back in the ’70s. Children’s television back then was blissfully un-self-conscious, utterly lacking in the cynical sense of irony, marketing potential, and self-aware references to other pop culture that infest today’s kidvid stuff. It was also incredibly low-budget, heartbreakingly earnest, and broadly (i.e., poorly) acted. But it was wonderful stuff anyhow. Mostly fantasy or science fiction in nature, it stretched the imaginations of many a wide-eyed young viewer, and I didn’t realize how much I missed these shows until just now. I feel sorry for modern-day kids; Saturday mornings these days just suck.

Click on the image to blow it up large and see how many of these characters you can name. The complete roster is below the fold…

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And the Hits Just Keep Coming on Simple Tricks Radio!

A couple of days ago, I brought you the wonder of a Japan-ified “Smoke on the Water.” Now as a little Saturday morning wake-me-up I present The Ramones’ “Blitzkrieg Bop” played — quite well, incidentally — by two guys with ukeleles. Why? I dunno… it just amuses me:

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Happy Birthday, Hubble!

hubble_galaxies.jpg

The Bad Astronomer reminds us that today is the 18th anniversary of the launch of the Hubble Space Telescope. It’s hard to believe that Hubble has been sending back incredible photos of the universe around us for nearly two decades. Time flies.
To celebrate the anniversary, NASA has released 59 images of galaxies colliding with other galaxies, the largest collection of Hubble images ever released to the public in a single package. The image above contains some highlights. Click on it to see ’em large, or go here for the complete gallery.

Good stuff, Maynard!

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An Exercise in Stating the Obvious

I was A Master!
I scored 86/100 on theClassic Guitar Solo Quiz

Can you identify classic rock songs by listening to their guitar solos?Quiz by Ibanez Guitar Blog

 

The text that didn’t get reproduced from the quiz site (and which inspired the title of this entry) reads: “You are a Master! You’re either an old man or a serious throwback!”

Um, yeah. We won’t comment any further on that…

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Ricin Maker Charged

Roger Von Bergendorff, the guy who lapsed into a coma after handling deadly ricin in a Las Vegas hotel room, has been arrested and charged with possession of a biological toxin, as well as possessing unregistered firearms and firearms not identified by serial number. According to this article, he also had a couple of homemade silencers and drawings of a device for injecting the ricin into victims. He has supposedly admitted to making the ricin in Utah, “possibly in the basement of his cousin’s Riverton home” — which, if you’ll recall, is only a short distance from my own home.

All in all, Von Bergendorff comes across as something of a poseur, a guy with a big mouth and a vivid imagination rather than a genuine killer, something like the character in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil who is always threatening to pour poison into the city’s water supply just to make himself seem more important. But still… it does give me a bit of a chill to think that somewhere right in my hometown, there was a guy who nursed private grudges and cooked up vengeance plans that sound like something out of a John le Carre novel. It’s all too easy to imagine this guy roaming the aisles of Peterson’s, the local grocery store, poking people with his little poison-spitter, and then laughing a few days later when the TV news is doing around-the-clock coverage while authorities try to figure out what the hell is going on with all the sick and dying people in an otherwise unremarkable bedroom community on the south end of the valley…

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Three Quickies

Before I shut down for the night, three items that caught my interest:

  1. Roger Ebert, the best film critic still working today, now has a blog.
  2. Salt Lake has a “disappointing” skyline.
  3. And if you’ve ever wondered whatever happened to one of the best-known writer/directors of the 1980s, it seems that these days John Hughes is making like Howard Hughes. Too bad…

Incidentally, does anyone else wonder what Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane are up to these days? I’ve often had the thought that it’d be very interesting if Ferris has become a burned-out, work-obsessed capitalist and his old buddy Cameron shows up to remind him of the life-changing lesson he taught 20 years ago…

Nah, it’d never work.

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In Memoriam: Hazel Court

Hazel Court and Boris Karloff in The Raven

In Sunday’s tribute to Charlton Heston, I mentioned something called the Big Money Movie. I think I’ve written about that before, but in case you didn’t catch the reference, the BMM was a local movie show here in Salt Lake that aired every weekday afternoon back in the mid-70s or thereabouts. The host was a funny little guy named Bernie Calderwood; his job was to introduce the day’s title and then, about midway through the show, to pull a phone number out of a rotating drum and call a lucky viewer at home. If the person answered and could tell Bernie what movie he was running or answer a trivia question or something, they won some cash (hence the “big money” part of the show’s title).

As best I can recall, the selection of films was exactly what you’d expect for a mid-afternoon slot in a (then) small television market (I’d imagine we probably qualify as “mid-sized” now), i.e., anything the station could get for cheap. That meant beat-up prints of decades-old back-catalog classics and a lot of B-grade genre flicks. I saw a lot of movies on the old BMM that I still adore, but the ones that are really standing out in my memory this afternoon are the adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe stories that starred Vincent Price and were directed by the legendary Roger Corman.

The “Poe movies,” as I think of them, are really amazing pieces of filmmaking: visually sumptuous and dripping with creepy atmosphere (if a bit sedate by modern standards) that become even more remarkable when you know the details of their creation. (Basically, they had budgets of about $1.98, but Corman cleverly “borrowed” sets, props, and costumes from A-level productions after they’d shut down for the day. Guerrilla filmmaking at its best, baby!) The films are rightly noted for their male stars, which included the always charming Price (he was in six of the seven Poe films produced by Corman) as well as Ray Milland, Boris Karloff, Peter Lorre, and Basil Rathbone, not to mention a very young Jack Nicholson. But it was the female co-stars who drew much of my interest, even as a boy. They were, in a word, beautiful, voluptuous and powerfully feminine in a way that today’s emaciated and generally plain-jane starlets simply cannot match. And one of the most memorable of these unsung heroines was the lady who appears in the photo above, Hazel Court. She appeared in three of the Poe films: The Premature Burial, The Masque of the Red Death, and, most impressively, as a conniving and very bitchy Lenore in The Raven. (The still above, with a sleepy-looking Boris Karloff, is from The Raven.)

Hazel, unlike some of the younger actresses who appeared in these movies, was more than a pretty face and nice cleavage, though; she had real presence and was more than capable of shining alongside the Hollywood legends with whom she shared the screen. She’s as much fun in The Raven as any of the “triad of terror” (Price, Karloff, and Lorre).

Hazel Court passed away last week at her home in Lake Tahoe; she was 82.

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In Memoriam: Charlton Heston

Charlton Heston in his most famous role

[Ed. note: I know I’m a couple weeks late for the funeral and pretty much the entire blogosphere has already had its say on the late actor Charlton Heston, but I feel I would be highly remiss if I didn’t recognize his passing here in my little corner of the InterWebs. So just imagine that it’s two weeks ago and this is current news, okay?]

One of the great treasures of my childhood was the time I spent watching old movies on television with my mom. I’m thinking in particular of the days before the home video revolution, when the viewer actually had very little control over the viewing experience. If you didn’t like whatever was on KSL’s Big Money Movie that day, you found something else to do. And if you did like the film, you really had to pay attention and savor it because there was no telling when it might air again.

I think that’s probably the biggest difference between The Way Things Used to Be and the on-demand world we now enjoy, the way we take it for granted that you can watch the same flick over and over, whenever you feel like it. When I was a kid, we just didn’t have that luxury, and I honestly think movies meant more to film lovers back then because of the relative scarcity of any given title.

There were, however, three pictures that you could count on seeing pretty regularly, because they always aired at least once a year, usually around holidays: The Wizard of Oz, Ben-Hur, and The Ten Commandments. As it happened, my mom loved all three of them, and, in the case of the two Heston films, could even recall seeing them on the big screen when they were new. (Somewhere down in the Bennion Archives, I have the Ben-Hur souvenir program that she bought in the lobby of the late, lamented Villa Theatre way back in 1959.) Squashing these epic movies down into the confines of a 24-inch TV screen robbed them of much of their grandeur, of course, but I didn’t fully understand that at the time. I thought they were neat, partly because watching them was an annual tradition, partly because my mom was so enthusiastic about them and my early tastes were heavily influenced by hers, but mostly because I liked Charlton Heston, who died April 5th at the age of 84.

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