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Forty-Six Years Through the Barrel of a Gun

To commemorate today’s release of the 22nd James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace, allow me to present a nifty video clip I snagged from Jaquandor. It’s a compilation of the “gun barrel” openings from all the previous Bond movies, from 1962’s Dr. No to Casino Royale in 2006. Oddly, it even includes the “unofficial” Bond movie Never Say Never Again, which couldn’t use the gun-barrel thing due to legal issues (the history of NSNA is one long legal nightmare) but attempted something similar.

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Scalzi on Watching Movies in Theaters

Even with the increasingly astronomical ticket prices and all the ill-mannered half-wits who can’t unplug themselves from their text-messaging gadgets for 90 lousy minutes, I still maintain that the best place to see a movie is in an honest-to-god movie theater. Yes, I have an HDTV and a huge collection of DVDs (and let’s not forget those pathetic old VHS tapes!) and I watch movies at home all the time, but these are really just a pale substitute for what I consider to be the primal cinematic experience., i.e., watching a movie projected onto a screen while sitting in a dark room surrounded by many other fellow humans. And just why do I think that’s so cool?

Because when you’re watching a movie at home, even if you’ve got a few friends over, you can’t possibly replicate the shared electricity generated by several hundred people sitting on the edges of their seats during a chase scene, jumping in fear when the velociraptor attacks, tearing up when Yoda dies, or laughing in unison at the antics of Charlie Chaplin. Movies can be watched in solitude, of course, and that has its pleasures, too (remind me sometime to recount my first viewing of The Silence of the Lambs — all alone in a gradually cooling auditorium in the wee hours of the night), but my strongest, most satisfying movie experiences have always been communal. While movies don’t always generate a strong audience reaction (sadly, most of the time they do not), when they work their magic on a big crowd, and the crowd’s reaction mirrors and amplifies your own emotions… well, it can be a form of genuine transcendence.

That’s my theory, anyhow. The ubiquitous John Scalzi has another one that I think is interesting, too:

So what does the movie theater still offer viewers that you can’t get at home? I’m going to suggest something that I think is counterintuitive: It offers lack of control.

 

Take WALL-E … My family sat down to watch it the other night, but we came nowhere near close to watching it [un]interrupted all the way through. The phone rang and it was my wife’s mother on the phone; we paused it so she wouldn’t miss something. Then at some point we all decided a bathroom break was in order. Another pause. Later, snacktime. Pause.

Contrast this with how I saw WALL-E in the movie theater. Once the film started, it was out of my control: The story unfolded at the pace the filmmaker chose, and the story’s emotional beats came in a rhythm uninterrupted by my personal life and preferences. Short of walking out of the film entirely, I had to take it on its own terms — surrender my will to the story, as it were. As a result, the emotional highs of the story were higher, the funny parts funnier, and the wrenching parts (yes, there are wrenching parts in WALL-E) that much more affecting. In the theater, you are able to approach the movie as a complete work, and as complete experience in itself. How we know WALL-E or any other film is a really good film is by how it makes us feel — which is to say, how much the film sweeps us along and makes us a participant in its story.

 

Being able to pause and rewind and such is all very cool — they’re part of the reason people like to watch movies at home, and it’s especially fun with science fiction films, because thanks to special effects there’s usually something cool to stare at in the background. … But these features come at a cost: Each pause and skip degrades the actual viewing experience. Each pause and rewind draws you out of the story and makes you aware of the separation between you and what’s going on in the movie, and that keeps you from getting everything you can — or everything the filmmakers hope you can — get out of it. You’re never more aware that you watching a movie than when you’re watching it at home, because you have control over how it plays. The extra bits and the commentary tracks and everything else that comes with DVDs these days are all super cool, but they’re not really “extras”: They’re compensation for what you lose.

Sounds about right to me.

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Alphabet Movie Meme

I wasn’t tagged by SamuraiFrog to participate in the Alphabet Movie Meme, but you know me and memes…

Here are the rules:

1. Pick one film to represent each letter of the alphabet.

 

2. The letter “A” and the word “The” do not count as the beginning of a film’s title, unless the film is simply titled A or The, and I don’t know of any films with those titles.

 

3. Return of the Jedi belongs under “R,” not “S” as in Star Wars Episode IV: Return of the Jedi. This rule applies to all films in the original Star Wars trilogy; all that followed start with “S.” Similarly, Raiders of the Lost Ark belongs under “R,” not “I” as in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Conversely, all films in the Lord of the Rings series belong under “L” and all films in the Chronicles of Narnia series belong under “C,” as that’s what those filmmakers called their films from the start. In other words, movies are stuck with the titles their owners gave them at the time of their theatrical release. Use your better judgement to apply the above rule to any series/films not mentioned.

 

4. Films that start with a number are filed under the first letter of their number’s word. 12 Monkeys would be filed under “T.”

 

5. Link back to Blog Cabins in your post so that I can eventually type “alphabet meme” into Google and come up #1, then make a post where I declare that I am the King of Google.

 

[Update: Doh! I forgot to link back to Blog Cabins as requested. If any of my taggees happen to amble by, I hope you’ll see this and modify your posts accordingly… Sorry, BC!]

 

6. If you’re selected, you have to then select 5 more people.

Okay, for the sake of this little exercise I am going to do my best to choose titles you may not expect from me, given my usual obsessions on this blog. Which means, no Star Wars and no Indiana Jones-related titles. I will, in fact, try to avoid the Lucas-Spielberg ouevre. Just for the sake of variety, of course…

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In My Duster, My Duster…

Here’s a quaint little something I’ve been meaning to post for a while. It’s a television commercial from 1985 that, as you will see at the beginning of the clip, originally aired during the very first MTV Awards show. I only vaguely recall the commercial — I think I must have seen a truncated version of it on regular network channels, but certainly not this long-form clip — and I don’t remember the car that’s being shilled at all. Which is weird because I usually have a pretty good memory for this sort of thing. (Have you ever noticed that the era of “classic” cars seemed to end with the ’70s? Seriously, aside from the DeLorean and a few high-end sportsters that no normal person could ever afford, are there any memorable cars from the ’80s?) Nevertheless, I just love this silly ad because it so wonderfully encapsulates the atmosphere of that moment in time, the heady combination of seedy glamour, escapism, fun-loving decadence, and cheese. Oh, and it’s got a catchy jingle, too; it’s only fair to warn you now, you’ll be humming this tune for days:

There is apparently an urban legend that this ad was shot in an operating cocaine factory, and that all the white stuff visible in the background and caked on the pipes and catwalks is the real deal, genuine Bolivian Marching Powder. I haven’t been able to find any solid evidence for or against this tale, but I tend to doubt it myself. Oh, there was probably plenty of blow floating around that set — some of those dancers are looking a little manic, and it was 1985, after all — but come on, an actual coke factory? Would it really be that messy, considering how expensive that stuff was (is)? That’s a little far-fetched, even by urban-legend standards. I’d imagine the owners of such a plant would be a very unhappy to see all their precious product scattered around the floor like that.

One final note: the pretty brunette singer in the poofy skirt is none other than Finola Hughes, one of the stars (at the time) of the daytime soap General Hospital. Later, she would appear in one of my favorite guilty pleasures, a low-budget flick called Aspen Extreme. (Usually described — and not inaccurately — as “Top Gun on the ski slopes,” the movie features some awesome, Warren Miller-style skiing footage and quite possibly the coolest bachelor pad ever seen in the movies, an old railroad caboose set up in the woods. Finola plays a wealthy temptress who leads our noble hero astray.) I had quite a thing for Ms. Hughes back in the day; I’m pleased to see on her official website that she’s remained quite yummy…

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Kiss a Wookiee, Kick the Droid

Here’s a nice little palate cleanser to follow all that heavy stuff, a video that’s been making the rounds this week (I’m ashamed to admit that Samurai Frog and Jaquandor beat me to the punch on this one). It’s a creative lip-synch of a cute little song that’s all about my favorite movie, set to several of the more memorable themes by movie-music maestro John Williams. If you don’t know your John Williams themes, the titles are helpfully provided in pop-ups (although if you don’t know what these particular themes are, you’re not much of a movie fan, or you didn’t grow up in the ’80s):

As it happens, I’ve actually heard this song before. It’s a by a Utah-based a capella group called moosebutter. Utahns in general seem to really groove on this sort of stuff; there are a number of similar groups, all composed of clean-cut young men of LDS background, and all of which seem to have at least one song or comedy routine that somehow relates to Star Wars. (Voice Male is another example; they do the Wookiee call and have a “I am your father” gag in their stageshow.) Many of them seem to have a connection to Utah County and/or BYU as well. Go figure.

One small quibble with this (hey, it wouldn’t be me if I weren’t griping about something, right?): I object to the pop-up that reads “Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.” That’s the revisionist title that appears on the sleeve for the DVD, but the actual movie is and always has been simply Raiders of the Lost Ark. I know, it’s something the Comic Book Guy would get up in arms about, but I have my principles, you know?

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In Memoriam: Michael Crichton

I reject the notion that anything popular can’t be good. I don’t want to be obscure; I want to be read.

–Michael Crichton, 1994

I’m sure everyone’s heard by now that the best-selling novelist Michael Crichton died earlier this week, yet another victim of cancer, struck down at the relatively youthful age of 66. I have to admit that my feelings about him and his passing are a bit more muddled than is usually the case when I write these tributes.

I used to be a big admirer of his back in high school and college. His prose was serviceable at best, never soaring, but he was a master at plot, which was my primary interest in fiction in those days, and I found the science on which he based his plots fascinating and thought-provoking. I was an aspiring novelist myself, and on something of a personal crusade against the sort of high-minded literature that was read in academic settings but no where else. Actually, I should clarify that: I had no problem with Literature-with-a-capital-L itself — I even liked some of it — but I hated the snobbery that came along with it, the implication that there was something inherently wrong with fiction that simply entertained. (I still hate that attitude, come to think of it.) The popular stuff was what I preferred to read on my own time, and what I wanted to write myself, and I was always on the lookout for something that would validate my feelings on the issue. Crichton became a hero to me after I read that quote up there at the top of this entry in a newspaper interview; I scribbled it down in my notebook and used it for inspiration — and ammunition during arguments — for a very long time.

But then, perhaps inevitably, I cooled on Crichton, partly because my tastes were changing and I was finally coming to understand some of the criticisms of his writing, and partly because I think the quality of his work declined following Jurassic Park. The final straw came a couple years ago, when I was moved to publicly denounce him after learning of his shameful and childish attack on a journalist who’d had the temerity to question his ideas. You can read the details yourself, but the short version is that my old hero revealed himself to be a royal jerk. He wasn’t the first of my heroes who turned out to have feet of clay, but he was the most extreme in terms of how genuinely distasteful he revealed himself to be.
So now, upon his untimely death, the question for me is, which Michael Crichton should I be remembering? The one whose work I enjoyed and found inspirational as a young man or the one whose pettiness and total lack of class utterly disgusted me as a grown man? Which was the “true” Crichton?

Perhaps the best way to memorialize him is as a genuine human being who, like all human beings, was more complicated than strangers knew or believed, who had it in them to both please us and let us down. He wasn’t a marble statue, and he didn’t ask a naive college freshman into idolizing him.

And I should also keep in mind that despite my disillusion with the man, The Great Train Robbery, which he directed, is still a damn entertaining movie…

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The Chance for Change

President-Elect Barack Obama

I’ve been wondering all day what I can possibly say here that hasn’t already been said in a million corners of the blogosphere, and probably in a million better ways than I can manage.

I’ve considered waxing poetic on the fact that a country with a deep and ugly history of racism has finally elected a black man to the highest office in the land. But you’ve all heard about that ad nauseum by this point.

I thought about trying to offer an olive branch to my conservative friends, who I know are unhappy and even downright frightened about what the future now holds. But I fear such words may be misconstrued as gloating, or worse. (I will just say that I know exactly how you feel, like you’ve passed through the looking glass and everything is insane and the whole country is rocketing toward the abyss. I was there in 2000 and especially in 2004. Trust me, you’ll make it through.)

The obvious thing to do would be to recount my feelings and experiences on this historic occasion, to record for posterity what it was like to be here when a huge landmark was at long last achieved. But honestly, last night is kind of a blur for me. I was steeling myself for a big disappointment — Barack Obama is a Democrat, after all, and we have a long and ignominious history of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory — and I think I did it so well that I was kind of numb when the returns actually went the way I wanted them to. The last 24 hours have been positively surreal for me.

I think the best thing to do is to quote what I thought was the most impressive part of President-Elect Obama’s acceptance speech, a remarkable passage in which he simultaneously leveled with his supporters about just how difficult it’s going to be to fix the things we want fixed, while still maintaining an inspirational tone and even reaching out to those on the other side. I can’t recall any presidents-elect in all my years of political awareness being so honest in their acceptance speech, which is usually about triumph and blind idealism without much acknowledgment of the practical matters to come. It felt like we were being spoken to be a grown-up, by a man who is sincerely looking for a middle ground and a way to make this country work for all of us and to encourage us, in turn, to work for our country. Most of all, it felt like we were being addressed by a man who is ready to be president, in spite of what his detractors have been saying:

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I Was in a Boy Band, I Can Do Anything

With voting underway as I type this, another of those “go vote” PSAs is probably a little passe at this point, if not downright tiresome. But hey, maybe, just maybe, you’re one of those people who thinks the election is already in the bag, or that your vote doesn’t count, or for some reason you haven’t been sufficiently worked up by the last two years of campaign blather and you need a swift kick in the civic-responsibility zone. Or maybe you’re the type who just thinks it’s fun to look at a whole mess of celebrities and see how many you recognize (that would be me). In any event, here’s a clip that’s a sort of sequel to one I posted a couple weeks ago:

I think we can say from the available evidence that you really do not want Harrison Ford peeved with you…

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Election Day Netcrap

Feeling keyed up about long lines at your polling place and the fate of the entire universe hanging in the balance? Here’s a little something to break the tension:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die
Billy Dee still looks pretty good, doesn’t he? Ah, if only the Lando-Chewie ticket had been available in my galaxy…
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