Archives

Nov242008

Care to Go for a Spin?

It was nice this afternoon, unseasonably warm, and I’ve been feeling antsy all day because a bout of insomnia last night completely hosed my ability to focus, so I decided to walk down to the local bookstore during my lunch and pick up something I’ve been meaning to buy for a while. I’m used to encountering homeless people and/or eccentrics along the way, but I rarely take note of what they’re doing unless they’re somehow threatening.

Today, however, I couldn’t help but do a double-take at the sixty-something guy in a bright blue parka who was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, his face tilted up toward the sky, arms straight out as he spun himself around and around in a tight circle, like a toddler who’s just figured out how to make themselves dizzy. If you’ve been reading this blog for any time at all, I’m sure you know what he reminded me of:

I watched the guy for a couple of minutes, but he never did transform into his superhero identity. He must’ve forgotten a vital step…

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Nov222008

I’m Captain Kirk!

In case my earlier critique of the new Star Trek trailer was too long for you to get through, here’s a more concise take on my feelings:

Via.

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Nov222008

My Reaction to The Trailer

Iconic masculinity vs. metrosexual blah

I’ve been dithering over an entry on J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek remake for weeks, ever since that first batch of production photos hit the Web. I had lots to say about them, but I procrastinated, let myself be distracted by other topics, and finally lost the moment. You folks out there with blogs of your own understand: it’s all about being topical, and the farther away from “current” you get, the harder it is to work up the motivation.

Then came the first photo of the revamped Enterprise, and I was off again, repeating the same cycle.* And now here we are a week past the release of the first full-length trailer (viewable here, if you’ve somehow missed it), and everybody in the blogosphere has weighed in on the thing except me. I hate being behind the curve and frankly don’t know what I’ve got to contribute that a million other people haven’t already said, but I’ve had a few friends contact me and specifically ask why I haven’t written about it yet, so I guess it’s time I finally have my say.

Continue Reading…

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Nov222008

Star Wars: Episode 67

Ever wonder what the brave young men of the United States Navy do to kill the time during those interminable ocean crossings? They make a movie of themselves having a lightsaber duel, of course!

There are thousands of Star Wars fan films out there on the ‘webs, of course, but this is perhaps the only one that was shot on board an active-duty naval warship, the USS Shiloh (serial number CG67, hence the title of the movie and of this blog entry). The film is a little too long and unevenly paced, and the audio is a bit dodgy, but it looks like the guys involved had a blast making it, and it definitely has its charms. Be warned, though, that there is some NSFW sailor-type language in this clip (in other words, they swear, including the dread F-word):

For some reason, I was highly amused to see they have Nutter Butter cookies for sale on board the ship. I don’t know why; guess it just never occurred to me that sailors would have access to the same junk food that I do. I also like how nobody in the mess hall reacts to two lightsaber-wielding engineers clashing their way through the room. Could this be a common occurrence on board the Shiloh?

Anyhow, the source of the video is here; I came to it via Boing Boing, naturally.

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Nov222008

I’ve Won a Major Prize!

This is an unexpected pleasure: Jaquandor, who recently re-entered the blogging fray after a few months off, has bestowed upon me the “I Love This Blog” award:

i_love_this_blog_award.jpg

He calls Simple Tricks “a terrific geek blog” and says that yours truly “writes a lot of well-considered opinion on topics wide and sundry.”

In all sincerity, thanks, man. I’m honored to think that my silly little rantings here provide someone I don’t even really know with some entertainment value and/or food for thought. One thing I find interesting, though: I don’t really think of this as a “geek blog.” I just write about whatever happens to be on my mind when I find the time to write. Which I suppose says quite a bit about me, doesn’t it? Oh, well… we should all accept who we are, I guess.

Anyway, this prize comes with certain obligations:

Continue Reading…

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Nov202008

Narcissism, Thy Name is Thom

I’m probably going to lose about a thousand coolness points for admitting this, but there was a time, many years ago, when I actually liked the work of — prepare your gasps of derision now — Thomas Kinkade.

Yes, that Thomas Kinkade, the self-proclaimed Painter of Light™ — he’s actually trademarked that phrase, you know — the guy whose brand of schmaltzy nostalgic paintings adorn everything from collectible plates (trust me, folks, those damn things won’t increase in value, no matter how long you hold onto them) to greeting cards, calendars, music boxes, and who-knows-what-else. The Thomas Kinkade whose shopping-mall retail outlets sell mass-produced copies of his paintings printed on canvas and then “texturized” by low-paid minions to make them resemble original oils. The guy who gets basically zero respect from art critics but nevertheless confounds the hell out of them by selling millions of dollars worth of stuff to adoring fans. The guy whose licensing division is so thoroughly dedicated to imprinting Kinkade’s name and gauzy fantasies onto anything salable that there are actual housing developments modeled after his work. Yeah, that Thomas Kinkade.

Now, before you shake your head and forsake me forever because of my appalling lack of taste, let me explain myself.

Continue Reading…

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Nov192008

More Trivia About Moi

Another meme courtesy of Jaquandor. I’m such a sucker for these things…

Anyhow, this meme apparently started its life as one of those “getting to know your friends” e-mail quizzes but has now morphed into something more bloggy. It comes in two parts, a “things you’ve done” list followed by some questions.

Continue Reading…

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Nov172008

You Can’t Expect Historical Accuracy from a Video Game, I Guess

The other night, I dined alone at a local greasy spoon called Johanna’s Kitchen before meeting a friend to see the new Bond movie. I don’t often get the chance to just hang out on my own like that anymore, so I relish the experience when it presents itself. I sat at the counter like I remember the old guys doing when I was a kid, I indulged in some fine people-watching, and I savored every last bite of a mushroom-Swiss burger the size of my head.

This being the 21st Century and all, there was of course a flat-screen TV mounted above the counter. Normally, I hate that, because public TVs are almost inevitably tuned to some sporting event, and I don’t care one bit about sports. In fact, I find the screaming crowds and over-excited announcers to be downright bad for my digestion. Thankfully (and unexpectedly), this TV was set to the History Channel, specifically a documentary about the Battle of Gettysburg, so I found myself enjoying occasional buzzes of recognition whenever the camera lingered on a place I recall from my Gettysburg trip earlier this year. I just love those moments when I’m able to point at a TV screen and exclaim, “Hey, I’ve been there!” But that’s kind of beside the point of this post.

Getting at last to my point, during each commercial break in the program, there was an ad for a Civil War-themed video game. (Gotta love that synergy!) The sound was down low, so the first time the ad ran, I wasn’t certain I’d heard the voiceover correctly. I paid closer attention on the next break, and sure enough, the narration said exactly what I thought it said the first time. While a computer-generated man in a blue wool coat and a forage cap runs around the screen carrying a musket, a deep, “movie-trailer-guy” type voice breathlessly proclaims, “These are the missions that flew under the radar!”
Does anyone notice anything… odd… about that particular metaphor being used in conjunction with a game set in the 1860s? Or is it just me? Think about it…

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Nov152008

Play It Nobly

I’m not sure of the original provenance of the following quote — I got it from SamuraiFrog, who didn’t post a link back to the source — but I thought it was worth passing along:

Gail Simon, current writer on Wonder Woman: “In general, I’m very skeptical of any fake irony when dealing with Wonder Woman. If we’re getting some kind of post-modern satire of the Lynda Carter series, I’d rather they just pass on the whole idea entirely. Christopher Reeve showed that the noble characters work best when played nobly. Winking at the audience insults everyone involved.”

For the record, I have no particular affection for the character Wonder Woman or the old Lynda Carter TV series (although Lynda Carter herself was — and still is — quite yummy). I just happen to agree with the sentiment being expressed. I dislike remakes in general, but I really hate the ones that treat the original source material as a joke…

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