{"id":870,"date":"2007-02-26T00:06:56","date_gmt":"2007-02-26T00:06:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/?p=870"},"modified":"2007-02-26T00:06:56","modified_gmt":"2007-02-26T00:06:56","slug":"im_such_a_dork","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/2007\/02\/26\/im_such_a_dork\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Such a Dork"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sunday morning. I’m at The Girlfriend’s apartment, waiting for her to finish getting ready so we can go to brunch, our usual Sabbath-day routine. Suddenly, I realize her poodle is staring at me with deep, imploring eyes… he needs to go outside and do his dirty, sinful business. Being the great guy that I am, I put on his leash and take him outside.
\nThrough the open patio door at my back, I can hear brief snatches of unrelated sound: a TV chef blathering about oysters, a cacophony of cheering at a sporting event, gunshots, country music. The Girlfriend is channel-surfing. The disconnected rapid-fire audio stops, and there’s now a familiar, urgent melody<\/a> playing.<\/p>\n

“Sounds like you found some classic Trek<\/i>,” I say over my shoulder.<\/p>\n

“Bet you can’t tell me which episode,” she calls back.<\/p>\n

I listen for a moment. I can’t hear it terribly well…<\/p>\n

“What is that, ‘Amok Time’<\/a>?” I ask. She doesn’t answer me. Puzzled, I turn to look back through the door. She’s sitting on the couch with the TV remote dangling loosely from one hand and a stunned look on her face.<\/p>\n

“What?” I say, even though I already know.<\/p>\n

“How do you do<\/i> that?”<\/p>\n

I shrug and wait for the dog to finish relieving himself while Spock, deep in the throes of pon farr<\/i>, fights his captain and friend to the death for the sake of a woman…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sunday morning. I’m at The Girlfriend’s apartment, waiting for her to finish getting ready so we can go to brunch, our usual Sabbath-day routine. Suddenly, I realize her poodle is staring at me with deep, imploring eyes… he needs to go outside and do his dirty, sinful business. Being the great guy that I am, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-870","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-star-trek"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=870"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/870\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=870"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=870"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=870"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}