{"id":867,"date":"2007-02-23T12:19:58","date_gmt":"2007-02-23T12:19:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/?p=867"},"modified":"2007-02-23T12:19:58","modified_gmt":"2007-02-23T12:19:58","slug":"dont_be_skeered_its_just_my_be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/2007\/02\/23\/dont_be_skeered_its_just_my_be\/","title":{"rendered":"Don’t Be Skeered, It’s Just My Beard"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve worn a beard for about 17 years now, not counting one horrible week following a misguided attempt to “update my look,” only to discover that I’d, ahem, put on a few pounds since I was last bare-faced. Let me tell you, I wasted no time at all re-growing my time-tested fuzzy accoutrement. I probably would’ve grown it back anyway, though, even if I didn’t need the camoflage for my unfortunate double chin, because I just plain like<\/i> it. I think it lends my face some character, and, in my mind at least, it signifies both my masculinity and my individuality. And it doesn’t hurt that The Girlfriend likes it, too.<\/p>\n

However, it hasn’t always been easy to be bearded here in arch-conservative Utah, where the preferred look of the predominant cultural group (that would be the Mormons, kids) is decidedly un<\/i>fuzzy. Before I made a love connection with the current Girlfriend, I heard from more than one young lady that I was not suitable dating material because of the beard, and I also know that I’ve lost a few job opportunities because I refused to shave it off. Some would call my defiance of the local norms foolish vanity, but I’ve never understood why, if you keep it clean and trimmed short (as I do), so many straight-laced people find facial hair repellant. (Incidentally, I really dislike the term “clean-cut,” because it suggests that its opposite — i.e., bearded or otherwise hirsute — is un<\/i>clean, complete with all the moral intimations that word carries.) And so I have soldiered on through the years, convinced of my own righteousness and determined not to let The Man force me into drab conformity. I’ve persevered long enough that the beard has largely ceased to be an issue for me — I’ve finally found success in love and work without having to compromise my self-image — but it would’ve been so much easier if I’d had some kind of support group. Perhaps even an entire web site<\/a> dedicated to the proposition that beards are cool. But surely there couldn’t really be such a thing out there on the vast, vast Internet… could there?<\/p>\n

Well, duh…
\n
\n\"Visit<\/a><\/p>\n

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the title of this entry comes from an old George Carlin routine called “The Hair Piece.” It’s reproduced for your amusement below the fold…<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I’m aware some stare at my hair.
\nIn fact, to be fair,
\nSome really despair of my hair.
\nBut I don’t care,
\nCause they’re not aware,
\nNor are they debonaire.
\nIn fact, they’re just square.
\nSome see hair down to there,
\nSay, “Beware” and go off on a tear!
\nI say, “No fair!”
\nA head that’s bare is really nowhere.
\nSo be like a bear, be fair with your hair!
\nShow it you care.
\nWear it to there.
\nOr to there.
\nOr to there, if you dare!
\nMy wife bought some hair at a fair, to use as a spare.
\nDid I care?
\nAu contraire!
\nSpare hair is fair!
\nIn fact, hair can be rare.
\nFred Astaire got no hair.
\nNor does a chair.
\nNor a chocolate eclair.
\nAnd where is the hair on a pear?
\nNowhere, mon frere!
\nSo now that I’ve shared this affair of the hair,
\nI’m going to repair to my lair and use Nair<\/a>, do you care?
\n(Beard Poem)
\nHere’s my beard.
\nAin’t it weird?
\nDon’t be sceered,
\nIt’s just a beard.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve worn a beard for about 17 years now, not counting one horrible week following a misguided attempt to “update my look,” only to discover that I’d, ahem, put on a few pounds since I was last bare-faced. Let me tell you, I wasted no time at all re-growing my time-tested fuzzy accoutrement. I probably […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-867","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-ramblings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/867","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=867"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/867\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=867"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=867"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=867"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}