{"id":691,"date":"2006-10-02T15:26:36","date_gmt":"2006-10-02T15:26:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/?p=691"},"modified":"2006-10-02T15:26:36","modified_gmt":"2006-10-02T15:26:36","slug":"monday_afternoon_star_warsrela_1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/2006\/10\/02\/monday_afternoon_star_warsrela_1\/","title":{"rendered":"Monday Afternoon Star Wars-related Silliness"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>FYI, I had some weird Internet problems all weekend, so I was unable to post several political entries that I had in mind as follow-ups to the <a title=\"Disgusted\" href=\"http:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/2006\/09\/disgusted\/\">previous one<\/a>, or to respond to the comments left on &#8220;Disgusted&#8221; until this morning. I&#8217;m thinking that&#8217;s just as well; I really don&#8217;t want to continue mulling such an incredibly depressing and dangerous development when there&#8217;s so damn little I can do about it personally. At least until election day, when I&#8217;ll make my usual futile gesture in the name of good conscience (i.e., voting blue in the most overwhemingly red state in the union; it&#8217;s like spitting into the wind, but I&#8217;ll do it anyhow).<\/p>\n<p>In the meantime, let us think of more amusing things. Things like a list of the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.keepersoflists.org\/index.php?lid=1906\">Top 176 Star Wars Lines Improved By Replacing A Word With &#8220;Pants&#8221;<\/a>. As you can imagine, many of these have naughty overtones, and a few cross the line into outright tastelessness, but hey, there&#8217;s nothing wrong with that, right? Here are a few of my favorite examples:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.&#8221;<br \/>\n(Hmm&#8230; talk about taking your friends everywhere with you.)<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.&#8221;<br \/>\n(I can see how that might be a distraction.)<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!&#8221;<br \/>\n(What every teenage boy says to his girlfriend at least once in the course of their relationship. Most often heard at drive-in movie theaters midway through the second feature.)<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I think you just can&#8217;t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.&#8221;<br \/>\n(Aww, how endearing.)<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Alderaan is peaceful, we have no pants!&#8221;<br \/>\n(Ah, yes, Alderaan was a happy place back in the day.)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The number-one item on the list is, predictably, &#8220;I find your lack of pants disturbing.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Indeed we do. Indeed. We do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>FYI, I had some weird Internet problems all weekend, so I was unable to post several political entries that I had in mind as follow-ups to the previous one, or to respond to the comments left on &#8220;Disgusted&#8221; until this morning. I&#8217;m thinking that&#8217;s just as well; I really don&#8217;t want to continue mulling such [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-691","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-star-wars"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/691","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=691"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/691\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=691"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=691"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=691"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}