{"id":689,"date":"2006-09-27T17:47:18","date_gmt":"2006-09-27T17:47:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/?p=689"},"modified":"2006-09-27T17:47:18","modified_gmt":"2006-09-27T17:47:18","slug":"me_grown_up_nah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/2006\/09\/27\/me_grown_up_nah\/","title":{"rendered":"Me? Grown Up? Nah…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Following a link from Scalzi’s AOL Journal<\/a> brought me to this page<\/a>, which contained the following list of 25 Signs That, Sadly, You’ve Grown Up:<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.<\/li>\n
  2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.<\/li>\n
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.<\/li>\n
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.<\/li>\n
  5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.<\/li>\n
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.<\/li>\n
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.<\/li>\n
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.<\/li>\n
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”<\/li>\n
  10. You’re the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.<\/li>\n
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.<\/li>\n
  12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.<\/li>\n
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.<\/li>\n
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.<\/li>\n
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.<\/li>\n
  16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.<\/li>\n
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.<\/li>\n
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.<\/li>\n
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.<\/li>\n
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff”.<\/li>\n
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.<\/li>\n
  22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to,” replaces, “I’m never going to drink that much again.”<\/li>\n
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.<\/li>\n
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.<\/li>\n
  25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Now, as you may know from reading this blog recently, I am rather sensitive to this whole growing older\/growing up thing. Fortunately, I can see that four of these signs do not yet apply to me, so, according to the 25th Sign, I have saved my sorry old ass. Yippee! I’m not grown up yet!<\/p>\n

    (I’ll leave it to the imaginations of my Three Loyal Readers to determine which items do not apply…)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Following a link from Scalzi’s AOL Journal brought me to this page, which contained the following list of 25 Signs That, Sadly, You’ve Grown Up:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general-ramblings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=689"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/689\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=689"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=689"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=689"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}