{"id":1827,"date":"2009-10-26T23:26:14","date_gmt":"2009-10-26T23:26:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/?p=1827"},"modified":"2009-10-26T23:26:14","modified_gmt":"2009-10-26T23:26:14","slug":"memo_to_the_pretty_young_thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/2009\/10\/26\/memo_to_the_pretty_young_thing\/","title":{"rendered":"Memo to the Pretty Young Thing on My Morning Train"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear PYT:<\/p>\n<p>While I don&#8217;t claim to be any kind of great sage, I have acquired a certain amount of wisdom in my four decades of life on this planet, and, in particular, in this valley. So believe me when I say that you would be much more comfortable during the frosty mornings of the final week of October if you were <i>wearing a coat<\/i>. I know it&#8217;s crucial that everyone on the train know that you buy your t-shirts at <a>American Eagle<\/a>, and of course you want to show off how this snug-fitting shirt cradles your toned and lean body, but when you&#8217;re hunched over and clutching your forearms in a vain effort to stay warm, we&#8217;re really not seeing your bodaciousness anyhow. And another thing&#8230; flip-flops? Really? Do you have any idea what a bunion is? Or a fallen arch? Because these decidedly non-bodacious defects are in your future if you continue wearing those stupid things everywhere you go. That&#8217;s assuming, of course, that you don&#8217;t end up with frostbite for being dumb enough to shuffle around in 37-degree weather with exposed toes.<\/p>\n<p>I know, I know&#8230; I sound like your father. And we all know how totally uncool <i>that<\/i> is. But really&#8230; I lecture because I <i>care<\/i>.<br \/>\nSeriously, I think you&#8217;d really like this coat thing. Or even a sweatshirt. I&#8217;ll bet American Eagle carries sweatshirts. Go get yourself one and see if your day doesn&#8217;t improve about a million-fold&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Sincerely,<br \/>\nA concerned old curmudgeon<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear PYT: While I don&#8217;t claim to be any kind of great sage, I have acquired a certain amount of wisdom in my four decades of life on this planet, and, in particular, in this valley. So believe me when I say that you would be much more comfortable during the frosty mornings of the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1827","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-old-man-throwing-rocks-at-the-kids"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1827","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1827"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1827\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1827"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1827"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1827"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}