The frequent visitor to Simple Tricks has probably noticed that I am prone to frequent and often uncontrollable attacks of nostalgia. What can I say? I’m well on my way to becoming one of those boring old farts who is convinced that the modern world is going to hell in a bucket and that everything was much better back in the day. As near as I can tell, this process of codgerification began right around the time kids started to talk about something called “grunge” and could no longer identify Night Ranger as the band who recorded “Sister Christian.” The rate of decay accelerated to light-speed when I realized that most of them couldn’t even identify “Sister Christian.”<\/p>\n
In that vein of grimly humorous pop-cultural disenfranchisement, allow me to present the lyrics for my new theme song, a little ditty called “1985” by the band Bowling for Soup<\/a>. It may help you better understand where I’m coming from. At the very least, it will give you something to read while I continue banging away at a very long political post…<\/p>\n That about sums up exactly how I feel about my life. Well, except for wanting to be in a Whitesnake video or molest a member of Duran Duran. OK, sure, I would’ve done the Whitesnake video, but only so I could meet Tawny Kitaen. (That’s Tawny Kitaen as she was back then, not the more recent insane version<\/a>. Further proof that everything has gone to hell in the last few years.) And I’ve never wanted a snake-skin miniskirt or much liked Wham. But you get the idea…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The frequent visitor to Simple Tricks has probably noticed that I am prone to frequent and often uncontrollable attacks of nostalgia. What can I say? I’m well on my way to becoming one of those boring old farts who is convinced that the modern world is going to hell in a bucket and that everything […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music-and-pop-culture"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.jasonbennion.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n“Debbie just hit the wall, she never had it all
\nOne Prozac a day, husband’s a CPA
\nHer dreams went out the door
\nWhen she turned twenty-four
\nOnly been with one man
\nWhat happened to her plan
\n“She was gonna be an actress
\nShe was gonna be a star
\nShe was gonna shake her ass
\nOn the hood of Whitesnake’s car
\nHer yellow SUV is now the enemy
\nLooks at her average life
\nAnd nothing has been alright
\n“Since Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
\nWay before Nirvana
\nThere was U2 and Blondie
\nAnd music still on MTV
\nHer two kids in high school
\nThey tell her that she’s uncool
\nCause she’s still preoccupied
\nWith 19, 19, 1985
\n“She’s seen all the classics, she knows every line
\nBreakfast Club<\/i>, Pretty in Pink<\/i>
\nEven St. Elmo’s Fire<\/i>
\nShe rocked out to Wham!
\nNot a big Limp Bizkit fan
\nThought she’d get a hand
\nOn a member of Duran Duran
\n“Where’s the mini-skirt made of snake skin
\nAnd who’s the other guy that’s singing in Van Halen
\nWhen did reality become TV
\nWhatever happened to sitcoms, game shows
\n(on the radio)
\n“There was Springsteen, Madonna
\nWay before Nirvana
\nThere was U2 and Blondie
\nAnd music still on MTV
\nHer two kids in high school
\nThey tell her that she’s uncool
\nCause she’s still preoccupied
\nWith 19, 19, 1985
\n“She hates time, make it stop
\nWhen did Motley Crue become classic rock
\nAnd when did Ozzy become an actor
\nPlease make this stop, stop
\nStop, and bring back
\n“Springsteen, Madonna
\nWay before Nirvana
\nThere was U2 and Blondie
\nAnd music still on MTV
\nHer two kids in high school
\nThey tell her that she’s uncool
\nCause she’s still preoccupied
\nWith 1985”<\/p>\n