It was plenty cool the other night when Michael Phelps landed his eighth Olympic gold medal (with the help of three other guys whose names you probably already can’t remember, the poor slobs), but there was such an air of inevitability around the event that it honestly didn’t feel like much of a triumph, at least not to me. (My lack of engagement might have had something to do with the fact that I was watching the rebroadcast in the wee hours of the morning, but still, I’m trying to make a point here…)

Things were different last night when 16-year-old Shawn Johnson finally won her own gold medal on her last routine in the Beijing Games. I confess, I’ve developed something of a crush on this kid over the past few days. She comes across as confident and cheerful (unlike some of her fellow gymnasts, who sometimes seem as if it’s all they can do to keep their eyes from going all Bruce Banner-y), and gracious to boot (I was very impressed by an interview I heard a day or two back when she seemed perfectly happy with the three silver medals she scored earlier in the week, which the media was of course trying to depict as a crushing tragedy. I believe she said something to the effect of, “the silver ones are actually really pretty,” with no real hint of disappointment over not getting a gold one.) And then there’s that smile… to employ the old cliche, she lights up the whole stadium when she smiles. And she was really grinning last night when the results were announced. It was virtually impossible not to share her happiness and to feel a cathartic sense that, yes, sometimes things do work out the way they’re supposed to.

Now, if only I was 20 years younger so I didn’t feel quite so unseemly about thinking how damn cute she is…

Catching up on a couple of stories we’ve been following here at Simple Tricks, I see that dog cloner Bernann McKinney admitted on Saturday that she is also Joyce McKinney, the notorious missionary molester. She reportedly hoped the press would focus on the puppy angle instead of dredging up the “garbage” from her past. She should’ve known better, given the tabloid-mentality climate in which we live today. I actually feel somewhat sorry for her — how awful would it be to have some stupid act you committed three decades ago still hanging over your head now? — but my sympathy only extends so far, because if she really wanted the news coverage to ignore her past, she should’ve taken steps to remain anonymous. How hard would it have been to require the cloning lab to keep her name and most especially her photo out of the press release? Because people don’t forget stories that involve a combination of sex, religion, and generally weird behavior, and, in her case, the face was pretty memorable as well. I’d say she’s lucky that Great Britain doesn’t seem to be interested in extraditing her (she jumped bail 31 years ago in the wake of the missionary thing).

Of course, there is the possibility that her discomfort at being recognized is a sham. The article I linked to above notes a history of oddball behavior and run-ins with the law. Maybe some little part of her — or maybe even a big part — craves attention, even if it is from the tabloid press. Maybe she was hoping for exactly what just happened. Hard to say, of course… but in any event, I imagine the former missionary she used to be obsessed with has had a rough week.

Moving on, there’s just one final loose end in the story of the man who was making ricin in my hometown: Thomas Tholen, owner of the Riverton, Utah, home where the toxin was produced, has pleaded guilty to knowing that his cousin, Roger Von Bergendorff, was illegally producing the stuff, and also to lying to investigators about it. He claims to have been scared, and frankly I don’t blame him. Still, he made the wrong choice; I can see him not acting while the looney was living in his basement, but why didn’t he report Von Bergendorff once the guy moved out?

Tholen faces three years in prison and a $250,000 fine; he’ll be sentenced on October 22. Von Bergendorff will be sentenced two weeks later, on November 3.