Simple Tricks and Nonsense

You remember the character Cyclops in the X-Men comics and movies, how if you take off his magic sunglasses, his "optic blast" superpower sprays everywhere, uncontrollable, until he shuts his eyes? That's what it's like to be a professional proofreader sometimes; you just can't help but see the errors people make when they write, even when you're not on the clock and you're just out and about in the real world, trying to mind your own business. The really annoying thing is that you tend to see the same damn errors over and over again, too. Stuff that really isn't that hard but which, for some reason, consistently trips up otherwise intelligent and well-spoken people.

Case in point (you knew I had one, didn't you?): I was just perusing some reader comments over at the Tribune web site and I see that someone thinks that "Draper [City] has a huge cross to bare." (Italics mine.) So... that would be an undressed cross? Perhaps you mean one that hasn't been varnished or painted? Or perhaps the expression you're really searching for is "cross to bear."

It's very simple, people: "bare" means naked. You bare your body, you bare your soul. "Bear" means "to support, carry, or endure." You bear your load (which is what that old cliche about cross-bearing is getting at), you bear children, you grin and bear it. See how easy? Sheesh...

Posted by at 10:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Here's another of those trivial things that no one else seems to mind, but which drive me certifiably bats: people writing the word "loose" when they really mean "lose."

I don't know if this is just a Utah thing, or if people from other parts of the country do it, too, but it certainly seems to be endemic in these parts. I see it all over the place: in comments on the Salt Lake Tribune's web site (which is actually what inspired this post today), in e-mails from friends (no offense, kids), and in letters and diaries written years ago by dead relatives. I could understand it if folks were simply spelling the word the way it sounded when spoken, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Utahns pronounce "lose" with the proper "z" sound (i.e., "looz" ) in conversation, but when they write it down, they frequently use "loose" (i.e., "looce"), and I gotta tell you, as somebody who spends all day correcting written mistakes for a living, it's maddening.

So, let's have a little remedial lesson, shall we? "Lose" is a verb, as in "to lose," as in "I hope the Utah Jazz don't lose the big game." (Don't worry, they probably will.) "Loose," on the other hand, is an adjective, a descriptor of something else, as in "That screw is loose," or "She's a loose woman." Now, what's so tough about that?

Posted by at 12:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

So, I'm sitting here watching the AFI 100 Greatest Movies of All Time (10th Anniversary Edition) special, and I just saw a commercial for Blade Runner: The Final Cut, coming soon on DVD and (according to this commercial) to theaters this fall. Leaving aside my conviction that acknowledged classics shouldn't be revised or messed with (and also that Ridley Scott is horribly misguided in his efforts to convince us that Deckard is a replicant), it was pretty exciting to see this film being advertised again. However, something about the ad really grated on me: the obligatory slogan, "The One That Started It All."

I say "obligatory" because it seems these days that every single film that has inspired sequels or imitators uses it; for example, it popped up again recently when the original Shrek was aired on TV a few weeks back. I hate this slogan. It's hackneyed and virtually meaningless. What the hell is "it" anyway? "It" is never defined, and there are apparently lots of different "its" out there, since Shrek's "it" most likely is not Blade Runner's "it" (although it'd be interesting if it was -- imagine a dystopian future-noir fairy tale...). Really what "it" is, is lazy marketing. It's a simple, cliche'd fix for a copywriter who's staring down a deadline and doesn't have the slightest original thought in his head about the movie in question. As with all the other stuff that bugs me, this slogan will be forbidden when I become the Unquestioned Ruler of the Universe.

That is all. Back to the AFI list now...

Posted by at 8:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

In another example of what's likely to become an ongoing feature here at Simple Tricks, allow me to gripe about yet another trivial thing that's been annoying me for some time and has finally built to critical mass: my local newspaper's use of the term "tot" to describe young children.

Continue reading "Something That Bugs Me: The Word "Tot"" »

Posted by at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

FYI to anyone reading this: the film's title is Blade Runner, not Bladerunner. I see this mistake made all over the place (most recently here) and it grates on my nerves like stainless-steel fingernails on a chalkboard.

Two words, people. Two.

That is all.

Posted by at 4:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)