Simple Tricks and Nonsense

A couple weeks back when I was teetering on the edge of a major funk, my lovely Girlfriend came up with what she thought would be a sure-fire cure for what ailed me: a big plate of comfort food at one of those classic cafes I so love, those places where the regulars while away the hours at the counter over a warm cup of joe (once upon a time, they would've had a cigarette to go with their caffeine, but those days are long gone, of course) while couples and families cram themselves into Naugahyde booths with Formica tables and enjoy hearty meals of home-style meatloaf, chicken-fried steak, or a burger the size of your head.

The cafe she had in mind was new to both of us, a vintage-looking hole-in-the-wall she'd spotted while running errands, not too far from her place of employment. It sounded perfect, and I was surprised and touched by her willingness to spontaneously try some place new for my sake (Anne is generally a creature of habit when it comes to food), so in less time than it took to type this sentence, we were off on a new culinary adventure.

We had no idea what we were getting into...

Continue reading "Know Before You Go, Kids" »

Posted by at 10:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sometimes you just have to say these things:

see famous look-a-like faces

Posted by at 3:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so naturally I had to take this "What's Your Pirate Name?" Quiz:

My pirate name is:

Dirty Jack Rackham

You're the pirate everyone else wants to throw in the ocean -- not to get rid of you, you understand; just to get rid of the smell. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Found via Kisintin, with whom I share the same basic description. Apparently, we have similar bathing habits...

Posted by at 1:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Because you never know...

I could survive for 47 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Posted by at 12:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

So far, it's been a crazy-busy week, which always sets me on edge and leaves me worrying that my loyal readers are even now deleting their bookmarks to this woefully un-updated corner of the blogosphere. To try and demonstrate that I've not forsaken you all and left this place to gather cobwebs, I offer a silly Internet quiz, courtesy of my friend Puffbird:

Your result for The Social Proficiency Test...

THE SMOOTH ONE

You scored a total of 32 out of 43!

Take The Social Proficiency Test at HelloQuizzy

With any luck, I'll be back later with something more substantial...

Posted by at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I walked into my place of employment this morning to find a Smart car sitting in the lobby. The rather smallish lobby. Of my 100-year-old office building. A car.

With a parking ticket on the dashboard.

Apparently it was driven right through the front door -- which is not particularly grand or spacious, I must add -- sometime over the weekend.*

You know, there are a lot of things about working for an advertising agency that frustrate the hell out of me. But there are a lot of really awesome things as well. Like finding automobiles in front of the receptionist's desk on a Monday morning...

* For the record, the door was open at the time -- no broken glass or anything like that.

Posted by at 12:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Just thought I'd mention that my friend and webmaster Jack Hattaway is currently -- as in right now, even as I type this! -- riding in the Lotoja Classic, a bicycling marathon that runs from Logan, Utah, the northernmost community of any size in this state, through southern Idaho and onward to Jackson Hole, Wyoming (LOgan TO JAckson, get it?). That's a distance of 206 miles over three mountain passes in a single day; according to this Wikipedia entry, the cyclists will climb some 10,000 total feet and finish 1,800 feet higher than where they began.

Jack told me yesterday that his goal is merely to finish, not to place, and he's hoping to do it in roughly 13 hours. His lovely wife has been sending me regular text-message updates on his progress; the latest was about an hour ago, and it indicated he'd just left Montpelier, Idaho, with 136 miles to go.

I hope it doesn't sound too lame and unmanly to say that I'm very, very proud of him for even attempting this. Only a couple of years ago, he was just another overweight, out-of-shape, fast-approaching-middle-age schlump like myself. Then a series of converging issues convinced him it was time to make some changes in his lifestyle, and now he's riding in a fracking cycling marathon. It's been an amazing and inspiring transformation.

I'm rooting for you, buddy, and looking forward to posting the news of your success!

(Official Lotoja Classic website here, if anyone is interested...)

[Update: The last message from Mrs. Jack arrived at 8:21 this evening. It read, "Jack finished in 13:39:58." Incredible... way to go, man!]

Posted by at 12:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

My friend Erin posted a link to this clip earlier today, with the comment that it makes her happy every time she sees it, and "It's just nice to know, with all the divisiveness and conflict in the world today, that there are still some things that are universal."

I'll be damned if watching it didn't make me feel happy, too. See if you don't agree:

It comes from the website of a guy named Matt, who apparently wanders the world and dances. Not a bad way to spend your life, actually. And not a bad way to start a long holiday weekend after a really long week... have a good one, kids.

Posted by at 4:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Enough of the political unpleasantness for now... let us consider something far more soothing to the mind... like this delightful piece of 'net crap:

Oh, if only this video really existed... I'd know what I'd be doing this weekend for sure!

(Incidentally, there's an entire thread of similar stuff over at Fark. The idea was to photoshop Star Wars characters into other movies. Most are pretty lame, but a few generate a chuckle; this one is downright creepy...)

Posted by at 5:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Over the past few years, I've been gradually coming to terms with the fact that my tastes in media are resolutely middle-brow, at best (said epiphany being thanks in no small part to George Lucas and how often I've had to defend my continuing enjoyment of the Star Wars universe even after the Special Editions, the prequels, and now, of course, The Clone Wars). I now grok that I am not nearly as literary or snobby as I used to believe myself to be. I'm quite comfortable with the fact that I like pulp adventure novels more than "literature-with-a-capital-L," and that '80s pop-rock music moves me while jazz in all its hoity-toity incarnations leaves me cold. I can admire the paintings our culture deems "great," but I'd rather hang a vintage pin-up or movie one-sheet on my wall. I prefer the feathered-hair-and-daggett version of Battlestar Galactica to the critically acclaimed but angsty remake. You get the idea.

Even so, I've often felt the need to describe the things I really love as "guilty pleasures." To make myself look like less of a dork, I suppose. SamuraiFrog argues that I shouldn't do that anymore:

I've never liked the phrase "guilty pleasure." Why should you feel guilty about getting pleasure out of something? Look, I'm not, repeat, not saying this is true of everyone who uses the phrase, but I'm talking about the origin of the phrase "guilty pleasure." It just comes from this snobbish, elitist place that I don't like. The idea that you have to feel guilty if you like Keanu Reeves movies or Stephen King novels or something. Something that you're afraid will reflect badly on you. Because, as I've said before, some people seem to think life is only about proving that you're a little smarter than the next person.

"Guilty pleasure" is an apology. I'm sorry I like something universally considered stupid. I don't want you to believe that I can only read at a sixth grade level and that's why I like Stephen King. It's a way of revealing that you care what other people think about your tastes.
...

Molesting children and buying blood diamonds are guilty pleasures. Liking Stephen King novels is just liking Stephen King novels.

You have to admit, the man has a point...

Posted by at 10:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Just in case this situation ever comes up...

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Sites

Of course, the accompanying text makes it sound like a most unpleasant minute and 41 seconds:

Congrats! You could survive for 1 minute 41 seconds !

In the first 30 seconds any fluid on the surface of your body would begin to boil due to lack of ambient pressure, this includes the saliva on your tongue and the moisture in your eyes. Your eardrums would most likely burst due to the pressure in your body trying to equalize with the vacuum outside. Unlike what some science fiction films have suggested, your body would not explode.

After the first 15 seconds you would lose consciousness. If you held your breath you could potentially stay alive longer but you risk pulmonary trauma. If you didn't hold your breath you'd pass out sooner, but your lungs might have a better chance of avoiding permanent damage.

The pressure in your veins would rise until your heart no longer had the capacity to pump blood, at which point you'd die.

Hm. Better to just splatter into strawberry jam like the guys in Outland, I think. Messy and deeply traumatizing to my fellow astronauts, but quick...

Thanks to Phil Plait, the Bad Astronomer for pointing me to this particular time-waster.

Posted by at 1:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's been a pretty rough week for your humble blogger -- actually it's been a pretty rough month, not counting a welcome and very enjoyable visit last weekend from Cranky Robert. I've had lots of late nights at the office recently, followed by soul-searching train rides home, surrounded by the oddballs who ride public transit after the regular commuters have all gone and wondering just which decisions brought me to this place where I so often feel like I have no life. I don't even feel like I have much of an online life, anymore -- it seems like forever and a day since I wrote anything on this blog that was really worth reading. Or since I've done much of anything else that truly matters. Did you know I used to write fiction once, about a thousand years ago in the Before Times? I like to think I was fairly good at it, too...

In any event, this self-pity party is explanation as to why my blogging lately has consisted primarily of memes, lolcats, and girlie pictures, and why you're getting yet another quiz-thing today instead of something more substantive. And this background may also explain why I found the results of the quiz -- which I've seen at Puffbird's, Kisintin's, and Ilya's blogs as well -- somewhat baffling. I don't think of myself as much of an optimist even in my happiest moments, which this bleary-eyed morning definitely is not...

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

HBPS - The Optimist

Humanity, Background, Big Picture, and Shape

You perceive the world with particular attention to humanity. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on humanity, you tend to seek out other people and get energized by being around others. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.

The Perception Personality Types:

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

What do you folks think? Sound anything like me?

Posted by at 10:34 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It was plenty cool the other night when Michael Phelps landed his eighth Olympic gold medal (with the help of three other guys whose names you probably already can't remember, the poor slobs), but there was such an air of inevitability around the event that it honestly didn't feel like much of a triumph, at least not to me. (My lack of engagement might have had something to do with the fact that I was watching the rebroadcast in the wee hours of the morning, but still, I'm trying to make a point here...)

Things were different last night when 16-year-old Shawn Johnson finally won her own gold medal on her last routine in the Beijing Games. I confess, I've developed something of a crush on this kid over the past few days. She comes across as confident and cheerful (unlike some of her fellow gymnasts, who sometimes seem as if it's all they can do to keep their eyes from going all Bruce Banner-y), and gracious to boot (I was very impressed by an interview I heard a day or two back when she seemed perfectly happy with the three silver medals she scored earlier in the week, which the media was of course trying to depict as a crushing tragedy. I believe she said something to the effect of, "the silver ones are actually really pretty," with no real hint of disappointment over not getting a gold one.) And then there's that smile... to employ the old cliche, she lights up the whole stadium when she smiles. And she was really grinning last night when the results were announced. It was virtually impossible not to share her happiness and to feel a cathartic sense that, yes, sometimes things do work out the way they're supposed to.

Now, if only I was 20 years younger so I didn't feel quite so unseemly about thinking how damn cute she is...

Posted by at 10:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

One of the few things The Girlfriend and I ever seriously disagree about is what constitutes an edible meal (and, by extension, what we should have for dinner). She's -- how shall I say this? -- very selective with what she will and will not eat, whereas I pride myself on being willing to give just about anything a go. But am I just fooling myself? Am I truly all that adventurous? Let's find out!

Here's a meme courtesy of Javi that does a pretty good job of evaluating the adventurousness of one's previous eating experiences and -- more importantly -- the items that force you to draw the line:

Continue reading "The Food Tasting Meme" »

Posted by at 10:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Catching up on a couple of stories we've been following here at Simple Tricks, I see that dog cloner Bernann McKinney admitted on Saturday that she is also Joyce McKinney, the notorious missionary molester. She reportedly hoped the press would focus on the puppy angle instead of dredging up the "garbage" from her past. She should've known better, given the tabloid-mentality climate in which we live today. I actually feel somewhat sorry for her -- how awful would it be to have some stupid act you committed three decades ago still hanging over your head now? -- but my sympathy only extends so far, because if she really wanted the news coverage to ignore her past, she should've taken steps to remain anonymous. How hard would it have been to require the cloning lab to keep her name and most especially her photo out of the press release? Because people don't forget stories that involve a combination of sex, religion, and generally weird behavior, and, in her case, the face was pretty memorable as well. I'd say she's lucky that Great Britain doesn't seem to be interested in extraditing her (she jumped bail 31 years ago in the wake of the missionary thing).

Of course, there is the possibility that her discomfort at being recognized is a sham. The article I linked to above notes a history of oddball behavior and run-ins with the law. Maybe some little part of her -- or maybe even a big part -- craves attention, even if it is from the tabloid press. Maybe she was hoping for exactly what just happened. Hard to say, of course... but in any event, I imagine the former missionary she used to be obsessed with has had a rough week.

Moving on, there's just one final loose end in the story of the man who was making ricin in my hometown: Thomas Tholen, owner of the Riverton, Utah, home where the toxin was produced, has pleaded guilty to knowing that his cousin, Roger Von Bergendorff, was illegally producing the stuff, and also to lying to investigators about it. He claims to have been scared, and frankly I don't blame him. Still, he made the wrong choice; I can see him not acting while the looney was living in his basement, but why didn't he report Von Bergendorff once the guy moved out?

Tholen faces three years in prison and a $250,000 fine; he'll be sentenced on October 22. Von Bergendorff will be sentenced two weeks later, on November 3.

Posted by at 5:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

So, have you heard about the woman who reportedly sold her house to raise $50,000 so she could pay a South Korean company to clone her dead pit bull, which went by the charming and tasteful name of "Booger?" The basic story is pretty weird on its own -- not least of all because the woman apparently thinks the cloned puppies are reincarnations* of Booger, based on her statement that they "know her" -- but now it seems to be getting even weirder. I've been reading some speculation that Bernann McKinney, the proud owner of a litter of clone puppies, might in fact be Joyce McKinney, who, 30 years ago, abducted a Mormon missionary and took him to a rented cottage in the English countryside, where she chained him to a bed with mink-lined handcuffs and had her way with him -- several times -- in the hopes that he would marry her. The British tabloid The Daily Mail has the gory details, if you're interested.

Brenann McKinney is denying that she's the notorious missionary rapist, but I see a strong resemblance in the photos on Paul Rolly's blog, and Salt Lake filmmaker Trent Harris, who once did a documentary on Joyce McKinney, is quoted as being "pretty sure" they're one and the same person.

I vaguely remember hearing about the missionary abduction when I was growing up, but I always thought it was an urban legend, like Emo's grave or the satanists in Memory Grove. I should've known better... if there's a weird story out there, it almost always seems to come with a Utah connection. This state seems to exert a magnetic pull on colorful characters and offbeat occurrences. I consider it one of the many fringe benefits of living here...

* You know, this is a common misperception, that clones are not merely genetic duplicates but somehow retain the memories and personality of the donor organism as well, and it drives me crazy. It's nonsense, of course. A clone is no more the same animal -- or person, because you know that's coming eventually -- than a so-called "identical" twin sibling. They may share the same DNA, but they have their own thoughts and experiences, and often don't even look all that much alike. The culprit is, I believe, a whole lot of really bad made-for-TV movies and a big dose of ignorance.

Posted by at 1:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Yeah, I know. The lolcat thing is so over. Nevertheless, I thought this was funny:

more cat pictures

Because I'm a sci-fi nerd, and we're all about the airlocks...

Posted by at 8:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

If you've been following that bizarre story about the guy who was brewing up the deadly toxin ricin a little too close to home for my comfort, here's the latest:

A former Utahn suspected of making ricin pleaded guilty Monday in a Las Vegas federal court to possession of the deadly toxin and possession of unregistered firearms.

As part of his plea, 57-year-old Roger Von Bergendorff agreed to forfeit a pistol and two silencers. He faces up to 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine on each count when sentenced Nov. 3 by U.S. District Judge Robert C. Jones. Prosecutors are recommending 37 months behind bars.

Now, I'm not really a reactionary throw-away-the-key kind of guy, but doesn't "37 months" and "agreeing to forfeit" a gun sound a little light for making a poison so potent that a drop the size of a pinhead can kill a person? And why does he have to "agree" to give up the pistol and two silencers? Aren't silencers illegal, and given everything else we know about this guy, shouldn't the weapon simply be confiscated as a matter of course?

One other thing that struck me: the court records reportedly say Bergendorff knowingly possessed the biological agent for an "unjustified purpose." Isn't that a cute little piece of jargon... "unjustified purpose." What would be a justified purpose for owning this stuff?

Posted by at 5:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Here's an item I've been meaning to post for a while now, a rather amusing map of the afterlife inspired by the layout of the Magic Kingdom, right down to Cinderella's castle in the middle of the "lands." As usual, click to enlarge:

I suspect that once I've traded in my mortal coil for a celestial E-Ticket, I'll be spending a lot of time in the Arena of Answers trying to figure out just what the heck was going on down here on Earth, and I could actually use that Nu-Body machine right now. So I've got some things to look forward to, at least. How about you?

(Source via.)

Posted by at 4:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A couple years ago, I took note of a new housing development in Bend, Oregon, that was to be modeled after the bucolic Shire of Tolkien's (and Peter Jackson's) Lord of the Rings. I recall being both intrigued by and dubious of the project, writing at the time that:

...it would be the ultimate in geek bragging rights, I suppose. "Hey, look, I live in a hobbit hole!" But ultimately, it just seems a little too contrived to be desirable...

Turns out everybody else agreed with me. Today, I read the bank is foreclosing on The Shire. Only two homes (of a planned 31) have been finished, and only one of those has actually sold. The developer behind the project, Ron Meyers, is quoted as saying, "Some people were turned off by living in 'Disneyland.'"

Um... yeah. You didn't think of that before you took out massive loans and broke ground? And you didn't consider that the sorts of people who might like to live in a Disney-style re-creation of a fictional place probably don't have the income to buy million-dollar homes? Seems to me that folks who have that kind of scratch are usually interested in something a little less... gimmicky.

Somebody didn't do their market research, it seems...

Posted by at 2:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Just in case you were wondering, here is a list of the top ten conspiracy theories believed by 1,000 British adults surveyed in connection with the new X Files movie:

1. Area 51 exists to investigate aliens (48%)
2. 9/11 was orchestrated by the US government (38%)
3. Apollo landing was a hoax (35%)
4. Diana and Dodi were murdered (32%)
5. The Illuminati secret society and masons are trying to take over the world (25%)
6. Scientologists rule Hollywood (17% )
7. Barcodes are really intended to control people (7%)
8. Microsoft sends messages via Wingdings (6%)
9. US let Pearl Harbour happen (5%)
10. The world is run by dinosaur-like reptiles (3%)

For the record, I personally think all of these notions are bunk, and numbers two, three, and nine are downright offensive in both their ignorance and their cynicism (the Apollo missions were among the greatest achievements ever in the history of our ridiculous, half-savage species and should be revered as such, and the idea that any government would knowingly allow or even purposefully cause the deaths of thousands of its own citizens to secretly advance a political agenda is repugnant; not impossible, mind you, but so impossibly vile and complex in execution that I can't believe they'd get away with it for long). Nevertheless, this list is pretty interesting, isn't it? Notice that six of the ten items have something to do with the United States directly, and three of the remaining four are transnational. Only one conspiracy theory is uniquely British in its subject matter or, presumably, its origin. Come on, Brits, surely there're more dark secrets in the halls of Westminster than just the assassination of Diana... it's like you're not even trying!

Incidentally, I understand those reptilian aliens who run the world are supposed to have a major underground base right here in Utah. Google around and you'll find mentions of Dugway Proving Grounds, secret cloning facilities at the University of Utah, and, of course, connections with the LDS church, or at least with the Temple in downtown SLC. My personal favorite story is the "ancient tunnel network" that supposedly connected into Crossroads Mall -- allegedly the site of many encounters with creepy alien and paranormal stuff. Of course, the block where Crossroads once stood is now a massive construction pit. No doubt just a front operation to fill in or otherwise conceal those pesky tunnels...

(Via.)

Posted by at 11:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Another ungodly busy day, another lame non-entry entry. Maybe one of these days, I'll find the time to write something worthwhile again. At least, I hope so...

In the meantime, check out this video of a close encounter between creatures from two very different worlds:

Orca & Dog from Chantelle Tucker on Vimeo.

Fun, huh?

Via.

Posted by at 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Your result for The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test...

Elf

Take The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test at HelloQuizzy

That's all cool and all, but seriously, where's my long, silken hair that never tangles or gets messed up no matter how much orc blood just washed over it? I don't recall seeing any balding elves...

Via Kisintin.

Posted by at 10:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

A couple miles up Provo Canyon, you'll encounter one of the loveliest sights Utah has to offer: Bridal Veil Falls, a 600-foot-tall cascade of water that plunges down a sheer cliff face, then rolls across a little terrace and down again, before spreading across a rough talus incline and finally merging gently with the Provo River. I see the falls at least once a summer -- Provo Canyon is one of my favorite top-down drives -- and they always take my breath away.

These days, if you want to see the falls from any other angle except "beneath," you need to have a good pair of hiking boots and some technical knowledge, but up until just a few years ago, we, how shall I say it, less physically inclined people could just take the tram to the top of the falls.

Continue reading "Never Go Back Again" »

Posted by at 9:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So what does it say about me that people keep sending me video clips that have something to do with Star Wars and/or Indiana Jones? Do you think I've finally blown my cover and people are beginning to get the idea that I'm secretly a raving fanboy? And here I've tried so hard to be subtle about it...

Anyhow, the first clip is courtesy of my friend and co-worker Karen, who has a thing for the smaller and cuter varieties of camelids. As this video proves, however, she might want to be wary. An adorable, woolly face can conceal sinister intentions...

After watching that, I honestly don't know whether I should run for cover or say, "Awwww..."

If alpacas aren't your speed, here's something sent to me by Brian that I've been meaning to post for a couple of weeks (sorry, Brian -- bet you thought I'd forgotten!). It's a rough animatic leaked from ILM showing Uncle George's plans for a special edition of Raiders of the Lost Ark that's more in line with his current thinking about when our heroes should and should not fire their weapons. Thankfully, these plans were shelved following the Great Fanboy Wars of 1997-2005:

Posted by at 1:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Just to prove Mojo Nixon's theory that Elvis is everywhere, have a look at this Roman sculpture dating to the 2nd Century AD:

Kind of eerie, eh? According to this article, this bust that bears such an uncanny resemblance to the one and only King of Rock and Roll is something called an acroterion, "a kind of architectural ornament often found for decoration on the corners of a sarcophagus, a stone tomb or burial chamber."

Hm. A burial chamber? So perhaps this is a likeness of someone inside the burial chamber? And how could a man who died 1,800 years ago... look like Elvis? There are those who believe that Elvis was some kind deity... but let us not go there. A more likely theory -- which explains a great many things about the truly weird life of Mr. Presley -- is that he wasn't entirely human. Think of it: an entire planet of Elvii who come here in their rhinestone-bedazzled spacecraft every century or so to try and teach our mortal species the wisdom of the universe... or perhaps there was only one Elvis, our Elvis, but he didn't really die in the bathroom of Graceland in '77 as everyone believes, he just quantum-leaped to another time and place... ancient Rome, say, where he became a man of sufficient wealth and influence to have an acroterion carved in his likeness.

Or perhaps this is a very silly blog entry being written by a man who ought to be putting his time to better use.

Me, I'm going with the Planet of the Elvii theory.

Via.

Posted by at 9:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Woman: I find it pretty easy to spend your money.

Man: Yeah, I've noticed.

Woman: Hey, I let you have sex with me!

Man: So you're saying that I'm exchanging my goods and services for your sex?

Woman: Yep.

Man: You know there's a word for that, right?

Woman: Yep. Marriage.

***

Well, I thought it was amusing...

Posted by at 12:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

In the previous entry, I said that when I was a kid, I wanted to be grow up to be a starship captain (item #24). Well, yeah, that was my first choice. But I also thought something like this would be pretty cool, too:

Alas, that didn't work out so well either...

Via Pulp of the Day.

Posted by at 5:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I found the following meme over at Puffbird's LiveJournal. It's actually one of those questionnaires that used to circulate via email before they started going to ground in the blogosphere, so some of the questions are a little inappropriate for this medium. Also, I may have done this one before -- many of the questions look vaguely familiar -- or maybe it's just that some of the questions have appeared in others I've done. Whatever. I was feeling meme-y -- dang Beaker -- and wanted to participate. Enjoy...

Continue reading "Puffbird's Meme" »

Posted by at 3:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In case anyone is wondering, just over one month has passed since some half-witted barbarian knifed my convertible top, and I am still working on getting it fixed to my satisfaction.

Continue reading "Update on the 'Stang" »

Posted by at 4:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Created by OnePlusYou

Seriously, no Gog and Magog? Or Huey, Dewey, and Louie? Not even Old BOB?

Amateurs.

Posted by at 5:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

...so, in lieu of a proper entry, here's a silly Internet quiz!

Which Star Wars Character Are You?
	You are Luke Skywalker. You are adventurous and love to be where the action is. Your curiosity runs wild and you have to seek out the answers to all your questions or else you will not be at peace. People see you as a great leader, although you are uncomfortable with this because you don't see yourself the same way. You just believe in being honest and focusing on the good in the world. You are sweet and lovable and have many friends that would be lost without you.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

What do y'all think? Does that sound at all like me? I do have a curious streak...

Posted by at 11:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Over the past couple of days, I've noticed some items in the Tribune that may be of interest to my local (or formerly local) readers.

The first is a feature story about the handful of drive-in theaters that still operate in Utah; it focuses primarily on the Motor Vu in Erda, which I briefly mentioned in an entry a couple weeks ago.

The other, somewhat more exciting news concerns the Road Island Diner in Oakley, Utah, which I first wrote about just over one year ago. This is the authentic 1940s-vintage prefab diner that was shipped cross-country from the east coast to a small town at the edge of the Uinta Mountains. To cut to the chase, the renovation is complete and it opened for business this weekend. Details are here. According to the linked article, it's one of only about 1,200 diners left in the country.

I've also found an official website for the Road Island that includes an extensive photo gallery of the renovation. In classic-car terminology, it was a complete "frame off restoration," i.e., it was stripped right down to the bare bones and rebuilt from the ground up. It looks fabulous now, like a time traveler from the Greatest Generation plopped down right here in the 21st Century. I'm very pleased to see that the new owner went for authenticity after all. (I heard a rumor a while back that he'd planned a huge, two-story addition that would've completely overshadowed the original structure, but that was either untrue, or someone talked him out of it.) Of course, it's not entirely authentic. The Trib article notes that the there are flat-screen TVs, which I could've lived without (I realized today just how ubiquitous video displays have become in our society, and how distracting they frequently are; it'd be nice to escape them once in a while), and the tabletop jukeboxes are described as "remote controls for iPods in the back," but I guess you can only go so far in recreating another time period.

Oh, and it wouldn't be a Utah attraction if there wasn't some element of cheesiness to it: all the employees have been given "diner names." Oy. What is it with this state anyway? It's like people just can't help but find some way of being cutesy.

Still, I'm pretty eager to try the place out, even with TVs and cutesy-ness. The Girlfriend and I plan to take a little road trip within the next couple of weeks...

One final note: if you're interested in reading those articles, don't hesitate: in only a few days, the Tribune will drop them behind a pay-wall... I really wish they'd follow the New York Times' example and quit doing that...

Posted by at 12:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

No time today for a proper entry, alas, but I just spotted this over at Screen Rant and was sufficiently amused I had to share:

The look on the boy's face is simply priceless... and heart-breaking, the poor kid...

Posted by at 5:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

From a post over at Boing Boing that really has nothing to do with anything (at least nothing I'm more than momentarily interested in), I managed to glean the following:

...anything invented before you were 18 has been there forever, anything that turns up before you're 30 is new and exciting, and anything after that is a threat to the world and must be destroyed.

I like that. Reminds me of that great quote from Grandpa Simpson: "I used to be 'with it.' Once, I even knew what 'it' was. But then 'it' changed; it got weird and scary. And it'll happen to you." Or something like that. In any event, I increasingly understand the sentiment...

Posted by at 1:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A couple of years ago, following that traumatic flood in my basement, I made up my mind to try and downsize the Bennion Archives a little. Well, the first batch of items I put up on eBay didn't attract much attention, and disappointment and my natural tendency to procrastinate soon kicked in, and, well, long story short, I'm still storing a bunch of stuff I long ago decided to part with and I'm going to try again to sell some of it. There's a batch of nifty Universal Monsters action figures up for sale right now. If you or someone you love appreciates the classics, just click here or use the link over there to the right called "My eBay Auctions" to have a look...

Posted by at 10:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This seems to be making its way around the InterWebs -- I picked it up from Ilya -- and it amused me enough to want to jump on the bandwagon:

As I wrote in comments over at Ilya's, it isn't often that a frickin' commercial makes me smile like a little kid, but this one sure did. Of course, it probably helps that I start recognizing people about midway through. Kudos to whoever thought to include Stephen Hawking in there; his synthetic, monotype Cylon voice ironically seems to add an extra dose of humanity to this sort of thing...

Posted by at 9:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

I don't remember when or with whom I first visited the Cotton Bottom Inn, a divey little bar hidden in a woodsy, upscale corner of the Salt Lake Valley not far from the mouth of Big Cottonwood Canyon, but I'm certain I started hearing about the place's legendary garlic burgers while I was still in high school.

Continue reading "A Utah Specialty in New York City?" »

Posted by at 10:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Over at Byzantium's Shores, Jaquandor has a long post about the passions in one's life, how some endure and evolve with you through the years while others burn out and fall away. I must admit, the specifics of the post elude me -- I know little about classical music, and I've never read the author he references, nor does he sound like my cup of joe -- but I get his overall point, and it's a phenomenon I've observed in my own experience.

There was one paragraph, however, that really had little to do with the overall post but resonated deeply within me like a massive church bell gonging from ten feet away:

The Romantic in me is drawn to large gestures, bold statements, feelings so strong it seems that the force of my heart might well shift the world on its axis. Love is to be shouted from the rooftops; anger is to be no small irritation but a smoldering rage. Sadness is to be felt keenly and deeply, like the cut of a freshly sharpened knife, and beneath everything, every feeling, even happiness and joy, can be found a long streak of melancholy. That's the Romantic in me, and he still lives within, sometimes under careful guard but at other times nearly allowed complete control.

Oh, yeah, I relate to all of that... especially the melancholy streak. Just another would-be Byron, that's me.

Posted by at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Remember how I marveled last night about how smoothly the whole process of replacing my ragtop was going? Yeah, well...

I got a phone call from the upholstery shop this morning. Seems the proprietor hasn't ordered the replacement yet because he forgot to make a note of the necessary color. The color. Isn't that kind of a basic data point?

Sigh.

Posted by at 9:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)