Simple Tricks and Nonsense

1. Your favorite musical moment in a movie? A tricky one right out of the gate. At first glance, I thought was it was asking for my favorite scene from a musical, and, as I've said before, I'm not big on movie musicals (although the "Singin' in the Rain" sequence from the movie of the same name is sublime, as is the "Good Morning" number). But then I realized the question doesn't specify a moment from a musical. It asks for a "musical moment from a movie," which gives me considerably more latitude to choose, because there are many, many movies where the music, whether orchestral or a pop song, stands out as the prime mover for the moment. There are several scenes in Jurassic Park where John Williams' beautiful theme makes my heart swell with emotion, for example. Same with any number of Williams-scored movies. And Dances with Wolves and The Rocketeer and, of course, American Grafitti, where the oldies tunes on the car radios are virtually a character in and of themselves. And there's the double-sunset sequence from Star Wars. Can't forget that. But, oddly enough, the thing that keeps coming to mind is a scene from the Kevin Bacon classic Footloose in which Bacon's character Ren tries to work off some his anger over the injustices he's been facing. Yeah, it's melodramatic and choreographed and '80s-cheez-zee, but it really captures the intense, inchoate rage at the grown-up world that comes with being 17 years old. I can remember a lot of times when I wanted to find some deserted place and do something physical to burn it all off, just like in this movie. I never could move like this, though...

2. Ray Milland or Dana Andrews? Milland, because he was in the original Battlestar Galactica. (He played the craven Sire Uri in the pilot movie.)

3. Favorite Sidney Lumet movie? Of the Lumet films I've actually seen (which truthfully isn't many), I find I actually have a soft spot for one of his lesser-known ones, a River Phoenix vehicle called Running on Empty. I always liked Phoenix, and he gives one of his strongest performances in this flick about a teen struggling to overcome the baggage of his parents' crimes.

4. Biggest surprise of the just-past summer movie season? How disinterested in the summer movies I really was, for the most part. Looking over my list of what I've seen lately, there are gaps of weeks at a stretch, which is very unusual for me, but I'm not at all bothered by it.

5. Gene Tierney or Rita Hayworth? Oooh, tough one, but I think I'll have to go with Rita Hayworth. I had her World War II pin-up on my bedroom door for several years in college, so she's a sentimental pick if nothing else.

6. What’s the last movie you saw on DVD? In theaters? Theater: The Dark Knight. DVD: Escape from Alcatraz.

7. Irwin Allen’s finest hour? As executive producer for The Return of Captain Nemo, a.k.a. The Amazing Captain Nemo. (There's a trailer here that's unfortunately been dubbed into French, but it gives you the general idea: it's Star Wars, but underwater! Now there's a high-concept pitch...)

8. What were the films where you would rather see the movie promised by the poster than the one that was actually made? Krull. Awesome poster. Shockingly tedious flick.

9. Chow Yun-Fat or Tony Leung? I'm not familiar with Leung, so Chow Yun-Fat by default. That said, I think Chow is awesome. He was genuine screen presence, even when he's making crap to pay the mortgage. And I like to say his name.

10. Most pretentious movie ever? Pretty much anything by Wes "all of my movies are the same story about the same highly intelligent, woefully dysfunctional, utterly obnoxious hipsters who are just like me" Anderson.

11. Favorite Russ Meyer movie? I regret to admit that I've never seen any Russ Meyer movies. How is this possible?

12. Name the movie that you feel best reflects yourself, a movie you would recommend to an acquaintance that most accurately says, “This is me.” I doubt most of my readers have even heard of Free Enterprise, but it's my life, no question about it. Except that I've never actually had a conversation with The Shat. Or had a green Orion slave girl show up at my birthday party. Damn the luck...

13. Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo? I've never seen their movies, so this is a purely superficial answer based on their relative hotness. And the winner is... Garbo. Dietrich is a bit too... intimidating.

14. Best movie snack? Most vile movie snack? Best: I like the classic popcorn-and-icy-Coke combo, myself. I haven't had really good theater popcorn in a long time, though. It's always too salty these days, and the phony butter goo reminds me too much of transmission fluid. Vile: We used to sell big dill pickles at the multiplex where I worked. Never could wrap my mind around that.

15. Current movie star who would be most comfortable in the classic Hollywood studio system? It's a cliche to say so, but cliches are so often true: George Clooney. The man even looks like he belongs in one of those old studio films, sparking with Grace Kelly.

16. Fitzcarraldo—yes or no? Haven't seen it. Haven't seen any Herzog movies, actually, although his remake of Nosferatu is high on my "really ought to" list.

17. Your assignment is to book the ultimate triple bill to inaugurate your own revival theater. What three movies will we see on opening night? THX-1138, American Graffiti, and the pre-1997 cut of Star Wars, and we'll call it "People Used to Like This Guy" Night.

18. What’s the name of your theater? The Cameo, in honor of the first theater I worked out way back in high school (before my multiplex days).

19. Favorite Leo McCarey movie: I had to look this one up, and it turns out I'm just not familiar with his work. I'm sure I've seen some of his Our Gang and/or Laurel and Hardy shorts, but it's been so long that I can't differentiate any titles.

20. Most impressive debut performance by an actor/actress? Johnny Depp in A Nightmare on Elm Street. Hey, come on, tell me you didn't know he was destined for greatness after that scene where he gets eaten by his own mattress and then regurgitated in a fountain of blood.

21. Biggest disappointment of the just-past summer movie season? That Indiana Jones no longer seems to be the major cultural force he used to be. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull did well enough at the box office, and I basically liked it, but it just seemed to come and go in a hurry, without making much of a splash. I guess I was hoping for something more like the summer of '89, my first and in many ways my best time at the multiplex. You can't go home again.

22. Michelle Yeoh or Maggie Cheung? Yeoh. She is the definition of "classy," in my book.

23. 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Overrated? I'm probably going to bring down all kinds of wrath for this one, but I've got to say The Dark Knight. I liked it well enough, but I didn't love it. There's something about Nolan and Bale's take on the character that I just can't warm to, for some reason, and I'm frankly baffled by the way everyone is wetting themselves over a movie that I honestly can't remember as well as The Mummy 3 only a month after seeing both. Heath Ledger was awesome, though.

24. 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Underrated? Hmm. I didn't think Jumper was all that bad, but I didn't love it enough to defend it passionately. I'm going to pass on this one...

25. Fritz the Cat—yes or no? Haven't seen it.

26. Trevor Howard or Richard Todd? Howard, by default... I'm not familiar with Richard Todd. And besides, Howard was one of the Kryptonian elders in Superman: The Movie.

27. Antonioni once said, “I began taking liberties a long time ago; now it is standard practice for most directors to ignore the rules.” What filmmaker working today most fruitfully ignores the rules? What does ignoring the rules of cinema mean in 2008? Sam Raimi, because he still cuts action scenes so that you can tell what the hell is going on. I'd say ignoring the rules these days means casting actors older than 30, holding individual shots longer than three seconds each, and writing concise stories with solid plots that make sense. And yes, I am turning into a grumpy old bastard.

28. Favorite William Castle movie? The only Castle movie I've seen is the original House on Haunted Hill, which I quite liked. I loved Matinee, which essentially a fictional love letter to Castle...

29. Favorite ethnographically oriented movie? "Ethnographically oriented?" What the hell is that supposed to mean? Aimed at a particular (presumably non-white) ethnicity? If so, I don't really have one, at least not until somebody makes a movie aimed at the Yanomamo demographic...

30. What’s the movie coming up in 2008 you’re most looking forward to? Why? Geez, I don't even know what's coming up, aside from the new Coen Brothers flick, which I want to see because it features Brad Pitt and George Clooney, and I really enjoyed their chemistry in the Ocean's movies. (This one looks like they might not have much screentime together, though. I'll still see it...) I'm also probably the only guy on the planet who thinks The Valkyrie has possibilities, Tom Cruise or not.

    [Addendum: I feel the perfect fool for not remembering that the next James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace is also coming this fall and it looks much cooler than either Clooney/Pitt's or Cruise's new projects. Check out the latest trailer if you don't believe me...]

31. What deceased director would you want to resurrect in order that she/he might make one more film? David Lean. I like those sprawling, romantic, postcard-pretty epics.

32. What director would you like to see, if not literally entombed, then at least go silent creatively? I don't have much use for Tarantino, Kevin Smith, Michael Bay, or Brett Ratner, but I'd never want to have them silenced. Just because these guys keep making movies I don't like doesn't mean I have to see said movies. Somebody out there must like them...

33. Your first movie star crush? That's easy:

    

    In case you're wondering at the choice of images, yes, I specifically remember the crush coming along in Empire. When the first movie came out In 1977, I was only seven and Leia was just a girl. By the time of Empire, though, I was beginning to have some inkling of the fact that men and women were supposed to get together, and, well, I liked the idea of getting together with a certain princess from a wrecked planet. I still think Carrie Fisher looked the best in second movie, even if everybody makes a fuss over that damned metal bikini in Jedi.

And on that happy note, friends, I think I'm going to call it a night...