Simple Tricks and Nonsense

Enough. You win.

I am tired of snow and overcast skies and wind. I am tired of wearing long underwear and my fur-lined Cousin Eddie hat and still feeling cold. I am tired of driving my broken-down old rattletrap Bronco because it has four-wheel drive and I won't feel as bad if it gets wrecked as I would if it were my Mustang. I am tired of having to leap over puddles and ridges of filthy gray slush, and doing weird little dance steps and windmilling my arms because my lousy, worn-out shoes keep skidding on the slick pavement and I can't find any boots I like this late in the season.

Seriously, I know we need the snow to replenish our depleted reservoirs, and most years I really don't mind all this winter stuff. But this winter seems like it's been a very long one, and for the last couple of weeks, we've been getting storms about every three days, with blasts of arctic cold in between the fronts, and I'm really, really, REAAAALLLLY sick of it.

So, weather gnomes, just tell me your demands and I'll meet them. You want ransom money? A helicopter to the Bahamas? A first-born son? J.J. Abrams' secret notes on how Lost is going to turn out? Whatever you want, I'll get it for you. Just stop with the snow and cold already!

That is all.