What a Geek Believes
Courtesy of Eric D. Snider, a former Utahn who now snarks at movies for a living in Portland, Oregon, comes a manifesto written by this guy, a radio DJ from the Pacific Northwest. With only a few minor tweaks, it could've just as easily been written by myself:
What a geek believes
According to Rick EmersonI believe that Han shot first. I believe that Ally Sheedy was hotter before Molly Ringwald cleaned her up. I believe in miniatures, models, claymation, and not revealing the shark until you absolutely have to. I believe that George Lucas, for better or for worse, change[d] the way we see the world, each other, and ourselves. And I believe that we will someday reach those stars that he himself made visible. I believe that George Lucas is also a narrow-minded, money-grubbing, pig-headed slave to the now, who ought to be locked away from his own creations, lest he do them further harm. I believe that Jean-Luc Picard is the better Starship Captain, but I also believe that James Tiberius Kirk is infinitely cooler. I believe that a child standing in line to buy a book at midnight is fantastic; I believe that reading makes you smart — it’s schools that make you dumb. I believe that any episode of Futurama is better than any program featuring a precocious teenager who’s wise beyond their years. I also believe Buffy the Vampire Slayer to be the sole exception that proves this rule. I believe that comic books are an art form, and will someday be recognized as such. I believe that good shows die too young; and crap shows last too long. I believe that Eddie Izzard is the funniest man alive, and I don’t care whether you’ve ever heard of him or not — it’s still true. I believe that a girl who likes movies about zombies is hotter than whoever is on the cover of Maxim this month. I believe that Belloch ate that fly, I swear to God that I heard Luke call Leia “Carrie,” and I believe that Samwise Gamgee never quite got the credit he really deserved. I believe in magic, I believe in dreams, I believe in the power of music, movies, and the untold worlds inside an everyday library card. And I do not believe that geeks will inherit the earth; I believe that we already have.
So, did you catch all the references? If you're wondering about those tweaks I mentioned, they're after the fold:
- I could go either way on the Ally Sheedy thing.
- I'm not quite as harsh in my opinion of G. Lucas (I'd leave off the "money-grubbing," because I'm honestly not convinced he's motivated by cash flow at this point of his life/career; "pig-headed" certainly applies, though, and I also would like to see stewardship of the original trilogy given over to someone who genuinely understands and respects its place in film history).
- I'm not as huge a fan of Eddie Izzard as this Rick guy, although I have heard of him and he is funny. Just not the funniest man alive. I'd give that award to any number of people, depending on my mood at the moment you asked. At the moment, I'd probably say Ron White. Or maybe John Cleese. How's that for two extremes?
- Luke did not yell "Carrie!" as he's deplaning after the Death Star battle. How many times do we have to debunk that one?
Otherwise, I'm pretty much in agreement with all of this. Oh, I might also add "I believe that it's not Battlestar Galactica without daggits," but that would probably just start a fight I don't feel like having...
Comments
Okay, I'm not all that in the Star Wars thing, or any of that....But, I do indeed (and I'm sorry if you don't) love, love, love, Shaun of the Dead. It's on the top of my list for movies. I also think Ally Sheedy was really hot in the movie before and after. Don't know this Izzard guy, but LOVE Ron White to death. Mike and I are also on a Carlos Mencia kick. Dee..dee.dee.....
Posted by: steph | August 9, 2007 7:46 AM
Oh....forgot...so I guess the means I'm just a really cool chick/geek, right?
Posted by: steph | August 9, 2007 7:48 AM
As it so happens, Steph, I also love Shaun of the Dead, and I'm not even a big fan of zombie movies. Still, thought it was a brilliant reinterpretation of the zombie-movie trope, and really damn funny to boot. I did a review of it here, if you're interested. So have you seen the follow-up movie by the "Shaun" crew, Hot Fuzz? I didn't think it was quite as consistently funny, but it had some great moments.
I don't know who Carlos Mencia is...
Posted by: jason | August 9, 2007 9:29 AM
As a matter of fact watched it last night. Not as funny, but still liked it.
Posted by: steph | August 9, 2007 10:56 AM