At first glance, this story looks pretty funny, just the sort of weird news item I chuckle over a dozen times a day: a would-be Good Samaritan, hearing sounds that he thought came from a woman being raped, armed himself with an antique sword and burst through the door of a neighbor’s apartment ready to face an attacker, only to find that there was no woman. The only occupant of the place was another guy watching a porno DVD all by himself at a ridiculously high volume.
Big laughs, right? So it would seem…
Then I read the coda: the not-quite-a-hero is being charged with three criminal counts, and his sword — a family heirloom, no less — has been confiscated by the police. I can’t believe this situation, an obvious (and funny) misunderstanding, couldn’t have been resolved during a 10-minute conversation between the two men and a cop as intermediary. Instead, it’ll now be dragged through the already-clogged legal system and a guy who was only trying to do the right thing faces jail time. Yeah, the screaming turned out to be nothing, but maybe next time it’ll be the real thing and passersby will choose to ignore it instead of risking this guy’s fate.
Everybody in this country needs to take a deep breath and chill the hell out…
Ever wonder what the “E” in “Wile E. Coyote” stands for? Yeah, me, neither, but Mark Evanier has an interesting answer nonetheless.
I think I’ve mentioned before that I didn’t really care for the Matrix films. I didn’t hate them or anything — I found the first one sufficiently entertaining to warrant seeing the sequels — but I sure didn’t understand why everyone and their dogs made such a big fuss over them. They really weren’t all that smart, or they weren’t even all that crowd-pleasing, when you think about it. But my lukewarm resistance to the bullet-time bandwagon is nothing compared to the feelings of some folks out there in InternetLand. Courtesy of Byzantium’s Shores, here are 50 Reasons to Reject The Matrix. The list presupposes that you actually remember the details of the three films, which, I must admit, I do not — I couldn’t tell you who the Seraph is if you paid me — but I did recall the subjects of this priceless passage:
Reloaded Ridiculousness, 2
The machines added two new enemies for Neo in Reloaded, called the Twins. Their first priority is to blend discreetly into the simulated world of the Matrix, to walk among the people unnoticed. So of course the Matrix made them huge albino men with bleach-white dreadlocks who occasionally transform into shrieking wraiths.
“What’s that, honey?”
“Oh, nothing. It just looks like a simple Kung-Fu Swedish Rastafarian Helldemon. I’m sure there’s no need to question our fragile, sheltered grasp of ‘reality’ as we know it.”