Simple Tricks and Nonsense: Well, Now, This is Pleasing...

Hey, kids, it's time for another one of those silly Internet quizzes, because I know how much you all love 'em...

This one determines which Looney Tunes character you are based on the usual bizarre, somewhat personal, and seemingly irrelevant questions. You know the drill. Honestly I don't know why I fool around with these things, since the results almost always disappoint me. Almost inevitably, I'm told that my personality traits most closely align with the lamest, most uninteresting whatever of the available categories. I'm never Han Solo, according to these things; I'm Threepio, or Uncle Owen, or Red Six. I'm never Captain Kirk, I'm always Transporter Chief Kyle. In the universe of these quizzes, it appears that most people are sidekicks and background characters, not heroes. So when I settled in to take this one, I figured I'd be assessed as Sylvester the Cat, or Elmer Fudd, or one of those no-name, one-off characters like Sylvester's creme-colored doppelganger, Claude the Cat. So imagine my surprise when I got these results:

Bugs Bunny!
You scored 42 Aggression, 71 Sophistication, and 71 Optimism!
You have all the sophistication and charm one would expect from such a high-class hare. Very upbeat and generally laid-back, you are remarkably calm and peaceful even in the midst of the most stressful of situations. On those rare occasions that your anger is aroused, your retaliation usually results in embarrassing the aggressor and laying-bare how foolish he or she really is -- rather than doing any real harm. You likely have many friends and more than a few admirers and would make an excellent leader, if you had any interest in being one. But, being a leader would require hard work and attention to detail, both qualities you are lacking in. In fact, if you are not careful, your laid-back attitude will often lead you to drift through life completely oblivious to the changes happening around you. You also tend to have a horrible sense of direction.

Not to make too much out of this, but these results are very pleasing to me. Not only is Bugs the most heroic of all the Looney Tunes, he also happens to be my favorite of the regular stable of characters. Other characters make me laugh harder -- Wile E. Coyote and Marvin Martian can both reduce me to tears -- but Bugs is the one I've always liked as a person. Er, rabbit. Whatever... he's the 'toon I would most want to hang with if we lived in a Roger Rabbit-style world where humans and animated characters could interact.

In fact, I was well-nigh obsessed with Bugs Bunny when I was a young boy. Somewhere in the Bennion Archives, I've still got a whole stack of homemade Bugs cartoon strips, crudely drawn on the backs of brown paper grocery sacks. I used to doodle Bugs-heads on my school papers, too, and I once had a teacher tell me she thought it was unhealthy for a boy to be so preoccupied with a cartoon character. (Yes, because exercising one's imagination as a child is always bad, bad, bad, and you should be more interested in playing sports or something "practical." I love our public school system... grumble grumble grumble...)

Anyhow, I don't know that the above description of me is remotely accurate -- I don't think my sense of direction is all that bad, for instance -- but it was nice for a change to be told that I equate to a character I actually like, instead of one of the dorky guys.

Follow the link, take the quiz, amuse yourselves, and if you like, post the results in the comments thread below. Just beware, the spelling on the quiz questions is... eccentric. For instance, have you ever participated in a "quiz bowel?" Me neither...